Love at Conventions

[petrorabbit]

speaking from a great deal of experience,while i know what you are saying is completely true, sadly it is much easier said than done.

[Rockstar6662]

please dont be shy or embarrassed, no one is going to be straight up mean to you for giving it a go. (and if they are, then they're obviously not worth it!) and you never know, you might find someone amazing, just by having the courage to speak to them! <3

 

Tell me about it. Recently at work I casually asked someone out on a proper date who I'd been meeting up with for lunch or coffee every day for a few months. You'd have thought I'd asked her to jump off a tall building or something from the look of horror I got. Won't even acknowledge me now when I see her around. A real kick in the teeth, especially when you're not the most confident or good looking person to start with.

 

But at these events you have at least one thing in common and if you're waiting in a queue it's not too hard to get talking to the people around you about who they've seen, what they're wearing etc. The hard part for me is that everyone seems younger and I feel like the weird old guy (actually quite nice really, honest). But I'm getting more involved on here, aiming to get to know more people and who knows? Had some cool chats at LFCC (finally got to meet our resident photoshoot junkie 'timelord' and a couple of other people) and won't be so hesitant at asking for photos with the cosplayers etc at the next one. Had an absolute blast and starting to know likeminded people really helped.

[trekkie101]

I have been single for 21 years and counting.

It absolutely destroys me every time I see a couple togther enjoying each others company, because it reminds me of everything I'm missing out on.

But when I go to a convention, it all just disappears. Even if its only for a day, I can just talk with other people about the things we both enjoy. Unfortunately, I can never muster up the courage to ask anybody out. I mean sure, maybe we chat on facebook or trade numbers if I hit the jackpot, but nothing ever comes from it.

Freaking sucks man.

[The Prisoner]

I have been single for 21 years and counting.

It absolutely destroys me every time I see a couple togther enjoying each others company, because it reminds me of everything I'm missing out on.

But when I go to a convention, it all just disappears. Even if its only for a day, I can just talk with other people about the things we both enjoy. Unfortunately, I can never muster up the courage to ask anybody out. I mean sure, maybe we chat on facebook or trade numbers if I hit the jackpot, but nothing ever comes from it.

Freaking sucks man.

I hear you. Believe me, you're not the only one....

[ClockworkOwen18]

I wouldn't let distance stop you, I know it isn't the most massive distance but me and my partner live two and a half hours away. I live down near London while she lives nearer Birmingham, I just have to catch two trains and a bus and I'm there. It is tough but we have been going for nearly three years now so it can work.

 

I didn't meet her a Con, she just thinks I'm a massive geek and leaves me to it but I just wanted people to be aware that distance can work and to not let it be somrthing that stops you approaching someone.

[DavidB]

Have to agree about the distance thing. I met my gf on here, and we don't live in the same city but we make it work

[adriangill]

I met my gf on here

You met your goldfish on here?

[DavidB]

Do you want her to slap you?

[adriangill]

Do you want her to slap you?

I'm sure we would get on swimmingly

[gillianre]

It's be nice to find "something" at a con, not that I've ever even thought about it to be honest, most people just think i'm a geek so single life for me.

[plushroom]

Looks like we've all just got to hang on in there, be a little braver and maybe we'll get to post a story on this thread about meeting someone lovely at a future con

[Rockstar6662]

One thing that I do find amusing about all this is that a lot of my friends are jealous that being single I can just go and do whatever I like without having to fit things around someone else. If I want to stay in and play computer games, my guitar, listen to music or just watch films all day I can. If i decide to go out I just up and go out.

 

Yet I get jealous about all the other things that go with being in a good relationship, the sharing things with someone, not going on holiday on your own, going to gigs or these events with someone who shares the same interests etc.

 

So in some ways you can't win whatever your situation. Those who are single often don't want to be and sometimes those who aren't kinda wish they were.

 

Best thing for us singletons is not to wallow in it. Enjoy yourself, go do things and see what comes along (and yes I'm bad at following my own advice but working on it). It's been a long time for me (over 10 years now aside from a couple of very short lived things which went nowhere but that's partly down to going through some very difficult personal things) but I've also had some great times and laughs along the way. In that time I spent 4 years on and off on tour with a band from the 80's I used to love learning to do their lighting and mechandising, I've gigged with my own band, photographed other bands, met some amazing people at SM events, rocked out at gigs all round the country and all kinds of other stuff. Don't consider that too bad.

 

Consider this....A friend of mine is in his late 50's. Has been married etc in the past but been single for a very, very long time. Got involved in a part time acting thing a few years ago and is now married and has two kids with someone half his age. Lucky thing also gets to meet Karen G now and again as he does some occasional sound editing on Dr Who which I'm very jealous of.

[plushroom]

So in some ways you can't win whatever your situation. Those who are single often don't want to be and sometimes those who aren't kinda wish they were.

 

Best thing for us singletons is not to wallow in it. Enjoy yourself, go do things and see what comes along (and yes I'm bad at following my own advice but working on it). It's been a long time for me (over 10 years now aside from a couple of very short lived things which went nowhere but that's partly down to going through some very difficult personal things) but I've also had some great times and laughs along the way. In that time I spent 4 years on and off on tour with a band from the 80's I used to love learning to do their lighting and mechandising, I've gigged with my own band, photographed other bands, met some amazing people at SM events, rocked out at gigs all round the country and all kinds of other stuff. Don't consider that too bad.

 

 

Not bad at all! And all very good points :)

[Rockstar6662]

So in some ways you can't win whatever your situation. Those who are single often don't want to be and sometimes those who aren't kinda wish they were.

 

Best thing for us singletons is not to wallow in it. Enjoy yourself, go do things and see what comes along (and yes I'm bad at following my own advice but working on it). It's been a long time for me (over 10 years now aside from a couple of very short lived things which went nowhere but that's partly down to going through some very difficult personal things) but I've also had some great times and laughs along the way. In that time I spent 4 years on and off on tour with a band from the 80's I used to love learning to do their lighting and mechandising, I've gigged with my own band, photographed other bands, met some amazing people at SM events, rocked out at gigs all round the country and all kinds of other stuff. Don't consider that too bad.

 

 

Not bad at all! And all very good points :)

 

Thank you, fellow Herts resident :)

 

Being the only single person in my immediate circle of friends I used to get stressed out about it but now I focus on me and am trying to get out there more and hopefully something will click with someone but I'll have some good times in the meantime.

 

Oh and I don't have to deal with the arguments they sometimes do. lol!

[DavidB]

Guys, this really isn't an appropriate discussion for this forum. If you have any issues, I do suggest you talk about them off here, or just ignore each other please.

[Jerri-Kay]

Guys, this really isn't an appropriate discussion for this forum. If you have any issues, I do suggest you talk about them off here, or just ignore each other please.

 

i totally agree and that's what i've been trying to do. is there anyway you can delete the posts please?

[DavidB]

OK I've hidden the majority of the conversation I think. Hope that's ok with both of you.

[Jerri-Kay]

aw! i think, if someone asks to take a photo with you, or you ask to take a photo with someone else, then you should definitely have a chat! even if the dont look your cup of tea, they might be an absolutely lovely person. i'm definitely going to chat to more people from now on!

[DavidB]

There's always loads of places to talk to people. I always recommend doing it on here beforehand, so that if you randomly bump into people at the event, at least you kinda know of each other!

 

I mean there's thousands of people on here! So it does help a lot on here, FB, Twitter, all of that. Obviously we wont all get on with everyone but it does help.

 

And then you can randomly chat to people in talks or queues or anything. In the end, we're all there for very similar reasons.

[Jerri-Kay]

ahah and that's the downfall! you are not going to sound weird :') i know alot of people would be flattered if you passed them a compliment or asked them if they're having a good day!

[Jerri-Kay]

one reason to watch sucker punch..

 

EMILY BROWNING.

[TommyT]

I met my gf on here

You met your goldfish on here?

Thanks for clearing that up - I was like "what do you mean 'your' grapefruit?"

[Rockstar6662]

I'm always on the look out, but the only females I ever seem to be able to strike up a meaningful conversation with are the guests!

 

Seriously, I find it easier talking to female celebrities than I do just random convention going girls! It's a strange one, for sure.

 

It's not that I flirt with the stars, just that I seem to hold good conversations with most of them lol

 

That's actually an interesting point and I've noticed something similar as I've gone to more of these events. I think it's because you kind of feel you already know them either from their work or interviews etc and so are more relaxed about going up to them. Plus there's probably already something in your head that you want to ask about and most actors are fairly outgoing kind of people so it's reasonably easy to get a conversation going.

 

What also helped me was getting to know and work with a band I used to really like and became very comfortable being around them and other people they knew, dealing with people at venues etc and once you get into the habit of just treating them as other people rather than some kind of untouchable "star" it actually becomes a lot easier. They are still just people too.

 

I've had some great chats with guests male and female and seem to fall into it quite easily most of the time. But just striking up a conversation with someone in a queue etc, not so easy for some reason, self confidence issues aside, though I did have some good conversations with the few people at LFCC I did start to chat to. So there's hope for me yet :)

 

Hopefully as I make more of a nuisance of myself round here, by the time the next show comes around a few people might get to know who I am and would like to say hi too. I do like a good chat once I get past that initial shyness.

[dazzlerjames]

OK I've hidden the majority of the conversation I think. Hope that's ok with both of you.

 

 

Good Call!!

 

jerri-Kay I've sent you a fr on facebook - I need to ask you a few questions and couldn't just send a message.

Edited July 22, 2011 by dazzlerjames

[Tina197]

I'm always on the look out, but the only females I ever seem to be able to strike up a meaningful conversation with are the guests!

 

Seriously, I find it easier talking to female celebrities than I do just random convention going girls! It's a strange one, for sure.

 

It's not that I flirt with the stars, just that I seem to hold good conversations with most of them lol

 

That's actually an interesting point and I've noticed something similar as I've gone to more of these events. I think it's because you kind of feel you already know them either from their work or interviews etc and so are more relaxed about going up to them. Plus there's probably already something in your head that you want to ask about and most actors are fairly outgoing kind of people so it's reasonably easy to get a conversation going.

 

What also helped me was getting to know and work with a band I used to really like and became very comfortable being around them and other people they knew, dealing with people at venues etc and once you get into the habit of just treating them as other people rather than some kind of untouchable "star" it actually becomes a lot easier. They are still just people too.

 

I've had some great chats with guests male and female and seem to fall into it quite easily most of the time. But just striking up a conversation with someone in a queue etc, not so easy for some reason, self confidence issues aside, though I did have some good conversations with the few people at LFCC I did start to chat to. So there's hope for me yet :)

 

Hopefully as I make more of a nuisance of myself round here, by the time the next show comes around a few people might get to know who I am and would like to say hi too. I do like a good chat once I get past that initial shyness.

 

Same here, I also find it easier talking to the guests than other attendees. I'm always happy to chat with other people in a queue or just in general, but just find it quite hard to start the conversation. At LFCC I did talk with a few people lining up either behind or ahead of me, but only coz they were the ones who started the conversation.