jess8619 Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Hi guys, I sent this e-mail to my friend when she asked for the website of the convention, you should be able to understand what my problem is by reading it. (Kate is my friend coming with me) Do you think I should give her the web adress, even though I don't really want her to come? Hi Marina, Hope you don't get too angry with me but I don't really want to give you the website. I asked Kate and she doesn't want to really either as, if you understand, she found out about it and just wants it to be "Our thing" like between me and her. Please don't like ask Kate about it because she doesn't like upsetting you, and she's worried she has already. I hope you can understand and I'm sure me and you will do something special and you'll get to meet Rob one day. I konw I'm being really not nice, but I don't know about you, but when I find out about something special I tend to only want to share it with one person who is really close to me- Like Kate has done with the Convention. Kate is a very quiet person (As you probably know) and even telling ME about this was difficult (She thought she was being "Nerdy" for finding out about it) If I hear of any premieres or anything, I will let you know right away. So Sorry, please don't be angry LOVE XXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starbuck73 Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I think you are being a tad mean... if she really wants to go, she'll find the details online anyway. There will be plenty of people there withour her having to hang round with you all weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessCullen Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I think that's kinda mean, I mean, it's her decision if she wants to go, not really urs! sorry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess8619 Posted January 29, 2009 Author Share Posted January 29, 2009 OK, maybe I haven't explained this friend enough. She gets really, overly obsessed with things, she is costantly asking me about it everyday and it's driving me insane. She keeps going on about meeting RP and won't let the subject drop like other fans in our class have. She will also tell you one minute that she loves you and then the next she'll be spreading gossip about you and be hitting you calling you "An idiot" I just feel that if I do give her the website, and she does come I don't think I will enjoy myself as much. And Kate and her don't get on that well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessCullen Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Without tryig to be rude! ( although she does sound annoying!) i still kinda think u should give her the website, but make it clear u dont want her to hang round u constantly, I mean, if she really ewants to go.. then she will find a wway to get it anyways...so all u are doing is kinda upsetting her... htats just my opinion! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess8619 Posted January 29, 2009 Author Share Posted January 29, 2009 I know what you mean but does it make sense when I say she's constantly upsetting me by hitting me? I've promised she can come to ET2 with me, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjthedq Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I can understand where you're coming from, definitely. I think we all know someone like that. In the end though, it's her money to spend and her choice whether or not she goes. You can try to nicely explain that you and Kate were sort of making this "your thing", which is why you hadn't invited her. Like people have said before, there are, what, 800 people coming? I'm sure she'll find somebody to hang out with. And where would she stay? Have you and Kate already sorted out rooms? I mean, you can't exactly just add on more person in at the last minute. So already she'll probably have to stay with someone else, meaning she'll meet other people. If I'm being honest though, the e-mail you wrote is a pretty harsh. Nobody, even mean people, like being told they aren't welcome somewhere. All you've got to do is phrase it the right way. Then everyone wins! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess8619 Posted January 29, 2009 Author Share Posted January 29, 2009 Yeah- I deleted the e-mail. I thought it was pretty mean. We've already booked a hotel and everything, I suppose that is why I'm annoyed too because she's just leapt at us. And also we've told everyone else in our class but no one else is being like this. Thank you for being honest with me :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canaliens Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Yeah, it does in all honesty. I'm sure many of us have people that we're not overly fond of who latch on to us from time to time, but its not our place to tell them what they can or can't do... it sounds like you don't much like her as a friend (and I'm not judging you on that one, I don't know the girl) but by saying "you can't come to this one, but you can come to the next one!" thats doing exactly what you're accusing her of doing, which is picking and choosing your friends when it suits you. If she really wants to go then she can find out the details on her own (google is our friend) and you're not obliged to room share a hotel with her or anything like that, its just sending out sort of mixed messages to this girl. It sounds like this is an issue about your friendship with her rather than just the convention thing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjthedq Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Yeah- I deleted the e-mail. I thought it was pretty mean. We've already booked a hotel and everything, I suppose that is why I'm annoyed too because she's just leapt at us. And also we've told everyone else in our class but no one else is being like this. Thank you for being honest with me :) No worries, honesty is best. Which is why you should definitely talk to her before the convention. Maybe she doesn't realise she's acting the way she is. My housemate has recently found out what a mean person she is. She says she didn't realise, but I kind of doubt that (only since we've told her this before). But maybe your friend really doesn't realise that she treats people so poorly. It might be worth it to speak to her, nicely of course, to let her know, as awkward and difficult as that would be. It could really help improve things. Since she's asked you what it's called, I think you should tell her. She can so easily find out anyway, and refusing to tell her would send out a bad signal. So I would tell her, but I'd also let her know that you and Kate have already booked a hotel room, and she'd have to find another place to stay if she came. Good luck, hun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyT Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Yes it was harsh, and as well as any other message it sends, not telling her the details might just make it more of a challenge for her to find out. And it's not like you need a degree in google-ology to find the site. I'd suggest you say something to her to the effect that since Kate's done a lot of the legwork on this, you feel that you owe her the loyalty of your time, and since she and Kate don't get on, you might not be able to hang with her much at the event. But there are about 750 other fans going, and they sound really fun people so she'll probably not be lonely at all. And then you might want to delete this thread pretty sharpish before she finds her way here and reads it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjthedq Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 And then you might want to delete this thread pretty sharpish before she finds her way here and reads it! Ooo, nice one. Hadn't even considered that! Definitely delete the thread...or have Showmasters delete it? Not sure if you can delete the full thread yourself. Or we could just all delete our individual posts. Let me know if you need me to delete stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
talie Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 I think it's a tad mean, tbf if i didn't want a friend to come somewhere with me I wouldn't talk about it in front of them in the first place, just give her the link, ask this thread to be deleted and im sure she can buddy up with people of here.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timpe Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 May be an obvious question, but it seems like you don't really like this girl or the way she behaves, so why are you even friends with her? If you don't tell her what you really think of her, then you can't blame her for thinking she'll be welcome when she isn't. I think you need to decide whether you really want her as a friend before you do anything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keladryie Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 I have to admit this seems like it's a bit more of a problem then just the con. If she's really like that, why bother being her friend at all? I think instead of trying to avoid her going to the con, you should seriously consider discussing with her what she's doing, or distance yourself from her anyhow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazz5490 Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 I have a friend like this and they're harder to ditch then yous all seem to think especially if you don't particularly want to hurt anyones feelings . . . but yes that email was a little harsh . . . truthfully I don't think theres any "easy" way out of situation like this you either tell her upfront that you don't like the way she is or avoid her for a very long time . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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