rebecca-is-cullen-addict Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 (edited) Hiii ! Here's my first fanfiction and besides since it's in english and that i'm french it was quite hard. I would like to thanks Leanne for correcting my grammar mistakes :) I love you :):):) I hope you'd like it. If you have advices or want to say something don't hesitate ! xoxo No air. He couldn’t breathe. Not that he could since 1908 but just the idea of his sharp teeth in her neck was unbearable. Exciting, because he wanted to taste her blood, which since they had met was smelling so heavenly good to him but also more frightening than anything else he had faced in his timeless life. In a way she was his reason to live, his everything, but she was also his demon; someone who was reminding him endlessely of the part of him he was hating in himself. Change was in the air. Everything was settled, they had decided to leave at dawn for an old mansion in the mountain that had once belong to a vampire called Duncan, a friend of the Cullens who had decided to give it to them when he had left for Africa. Edward thought it was better for everybody if they were alone during her transformation. If they were going to live together for as long as the earth will exist, they had to go trough this together. So there he was, at night, worried. He was mostly wondering, while she was asleep in his bed, if that was her last night or if it was the beginning of an endless journey for their love. The only thing he was sure about was that if he couldn’t stop drinking her blood and killed her, he would go back to Italy and ask for mercy. Mercy of being executed because he couldn’t live without her. Not wanting to wake up his beloved, Edward went to his bedroom window and was looking at the moon, lost in his thoughts. “Edward?†Bella murmured trying to see him in the dark. “I’m right here love, go back to sleep. Tomorrow’s a long day.†“I can’t. I can’t do it if you’re not at my side. I can feel you’re not here even in my sleep. It’s like a living nightmare. Please, hold me, stay next to me for my last night†He sat on the bed and took her in his arms while she was already closing her eyes dreaming about the new life that will open to her soon. Last night. Those words where reasoning in his head like a lullabye. The same question kept coming in his head. What was coming after this last night ? He couldn’t even think about it. There was only a few hours before their departure and not even twenty-four hours before the transformation. Edward knew that in his long life those hours will be the hardest he has ever lived. They arrived to the old mansion at sunset. Edward knew it was time. Time to take her life or give her a knew one. He took her softly in his arms and put her on the bed where chains were hanging, just in case Bella couldn’t restrain herself. He was hoping his words would be enough to keep her from wanting to drink human blood. He looked into her eyes. No fear. She was the one becoming a creature from myth and he was the one who was afraid. But it was worth it: the word ‘forever’ could have a sense. Her neck was warm under his cold fangs. ‘I trust you’ was the last thing she said, with her last breathe. Rebecca Lidvan Edited February 6, 2009 by rebecca-is-cullen-addict Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess8619 Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 wow, these fan fic's are coming in pretty fast now! Great story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeahBlack. Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Awhhh *shivers* This was pure brilliance! I loved it! And your so much better at English than i am at French xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leanne marie barden Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 It was an absolute pleasure hun!! I have my fingers crossed for you!!! Love Ya Too!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlistara Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Very well done, Rebecca! Powerful! I really like it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebecca-is-cullen-addict Posted January 31, 2009 Author Share Posted January 31, 2009 Thanks a lot ! But reading the others I don't think it's very good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlistara Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Thanks a lot ! But reading the others I don't think it's very good I´ve read them all by now, left my comment and every single one is unique and expresses a lot of what the whole Twilight world means to us. Every one is good and worth reading! So is yours, hun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leanne marie barden Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Rebbecca seriously this is great - I love it!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimmykins Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Thanks a lot ! But reading the others I don't think it's very good Have to disagree with you there hun, it's really very good, brilliantly written. Everyone's fanfics are so different and unique... It's really hard to compare them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightshadewolf Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 wow, thats so good! I wouldn't have known you needed anything correcting, seriously Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebecca-is-cullen-addict Posted February 1, 2009 Author Share Posted February 1, 2009 Thanks a lot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evie_Nitram Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Great insight into Edward's thoughts and feelings, had he come to change Bella of his own volition rather than the way it happened in Breaking Dawn. Really well written considering your first language isn't English. Congratulations!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Showmasters Admin showmasters Posted February 10, 2009 Showmasters Admin Share Posted February 10, 2009 Im sorry Rebecca but your fan fiction entry is 550 words long. If you see the rules it can only be 500 words. You need to cut them down or you can not enter it into the competion. thanks. Gemma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebecca-is-cullen-addict Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 EDITED VERSION No air. He couldn’t breathe. Not that he could since 1908 but just the idea of his sharp teeth in her neck was unbearable. Exciting, because he wanted to taste her blood, which since they had met was smelling so heavenly good to him but also more frightening than anything else he had faced in his timeless life. In a way she was his reason to live, his everything, but she was also his demon; someone who was reminding him endlessely of the part of him he was hating in himself. Change was in the air. Everything was settled, they had decided to leave at dawn for an old mansion in the mountain. Edward thought it was better for everybody if they were alone during her transformation. If they were going to live together for as long as the earth will exist, they had to go trough this together. So there he was, at night, worried. He was mostly wondering, while she was asleep in his bed, if that was her last night or if it was the beginning of an endless journey for their love. The only thing he was sure about was that if he couldn’t stop drinking her blood and killed her, he would go back to Italy and ask for mercy. Mercy of being executed because he couldn’t live without her. Not wanting to wake up his beloved, Edward went to his bedroom window and was looking at the moon, lost in his thoughts. “Edward?†Bella murmured. “I’m right here love, go back to sleep. Tomorrow’s a long day.†“I can’t. Not without you. I can feel you’re not here even in my sleep. Please, hold me, stay next to me for my last night†He sat on the bed and took her in his arms while she was already closing her eyes dreaming about the new life that will open to her soon. Last night. Those words where reasoning in his head like a lullabye. The same question kept coming in his head. What was coming after this last night ? He couldn’t even think about it. There was only a few hours before their departure and not even twenty-four hours before the transformation. Edward knew that in his long life those hours will be the hardest he has ever lived. They arrived at sunset. Edward knew it was time. Time to take her life or give her a knew one. He took her softly in his arms and put her on the bed where chains were hanging, just in case Bella couldn’t restrain herself. He was hoping his words would be enough to keep her away from danger. He looked into her eyes. No fear. She was the one becoming a creature from myth and he was the one who was afraid. But it was worth it: the word ‘forever’ had a meaning. Her neck was warm under his cold fangs. ‘I trust you’ was the last thing she said, with her last breathe. Rebecca Lidvan ---------------------- It should be ok but I'm not sure cause at some point I had troubles counting Tell me if I need to edit more :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Showmasters Admin showmasters Posted February 17, 2009 Showmasters Admin Share Posted February 17, 2009 Thats perfect rebecca. Exactly 500 words. Thanks. Gemma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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