Mr Stabby Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 Well i thought i would start a thread where people can post there favourite jokes! So go ahead..........start Joking!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Stabby Posted August 21, 2003 Author Share Posted August 21, 2003 ok i will start you off with a bad one so that they can only get bettter!!! What was the elephant doing on the motorway? - about 5 mph. now that one is bad...so yours should be brilliant!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cushy Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 You're right that was bad. Here's a little story I just got sent: BEST DRINKING STORY EVER From the state where drinking and driving is considered a sport comes a true story from Louisiana. Recently, a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood bar noticed an intoxicated man leaving the establishment late in the evening. The man was so drunk that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his own car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles. At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the street. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a Breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This Breathalyzer equipment must be broken." "I doubt it," said the man. "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy!!" Have heard it before, its not great, but there you go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cathyvicki Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 My favourite joke is Knock knock? Whos there? Dunnop Dunnop who? Eurrrgh!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cushy Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 The good thing about bad jokes? They always make you laugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cathyvicki Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 Just thought of another one... Did you hear about the fella who bought a pair of snail skin shoes? It took him 3 hours to get out of the shoe shop! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cushy Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 This should have been entitled Bad Jokes! Why didn't the little girl want to leave nursery school? She wanted to be a nurse. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him? I didn't do it on porpoise. And I am sure I can find worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cathyvicki Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 I get all mine off my dad, he is The King of crap jokes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cushy Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 lol my dad is the one liner kinda guy, and half the time they aren't funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houdinia Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 (edited) i say, i say, i say... i managed to get hold of a signed photo of Harry Houdini at the last collectormania... ... it was a picture of when he'd locked his keys in his car i thang yo HOUDINIA Edited August 21, 2003 by houdinia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vamps! Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 Here's a joke for ya!!!!!!!!!! This forum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators DavidB Posted August 21, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 21, 2003 Here's a joke for ya!!!!!!!!!! This forum That's not very nice! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Stabby Posted August 21, 2003 Author Share Posted August 21, 2003 i was doing some decorating ,so i got out my stepladder,i dont get on with my real ladder! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators DavidB Posted August 21, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 21, 2003 i was doing some decorating ,so i got out my stepladder,i dont get on with my real ladder! now THAT was a good joke! keep going Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vamps! Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 Here's a joke for ya!!!!!!!!!! This forum That's not very nice! lol thats me all over though, i isn't nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators DavidB Posted August 21, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 21, 2003 Aww u are, u just dont like showing it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vamps! Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 Aww u are, u just dont like showing it no i am not nice!!!!!!! i don't be want to be nice!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Stabby Posted August 21, 2003 Author Share Posted August 21, 2003 how many MP's does it take to change a light bulb? twenty-one. one to change it and twenty to form a fact- finding commitee to learn more about how its done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators DavidB Posted August 21, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 21, 2003 how many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb? errrr 3, one to change the light bulb, David to post about it on the forum, and Vamps to ask for a shag! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vamps! Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 how many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb? errrr 3, one to change the light bulb, David to post about it on the forum, and Vamps to ask for a shag! your getting a bit cocky ain't ya!!!!!!!!! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Stabby Posted August 21, 2003 Author Share Posted August 21, 2003 Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - because it was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? - because he was tied to the first monkey! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? - Peer pressure Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - It was doing a monkey impression! he he they are my favourite jokes!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators DavidB Posted August 21, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 21, 2003 Lol that wasnt cocky, that was truthful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 A man walked into a bar, and said OWW!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators DavidB Posted August 21, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 21, 2003 A man walked into a bar, and said OWW!! Aww Phoenix, that was a good one! see i laughed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stanmarsh Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 hmmmm a joke, let's see. Ah, got one, the government! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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