vegeta Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 there was an irish man in a pub a lovely red head girl came in the pub the irish man asked"can i get you a drink?" the lady says no thanks,im a lesbien the man asked,whats that? so the lady said,you see that blond haired girl ove there?i want to smother her and do other stuff to her so the man said that must make me a lesbien aswell!!!!!!!!!!! hihihihi its a billy connolly joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators DavidB Posted August 21, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 21, 2003 lol that was quite funny, well done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cazzie15 Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - because it was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? - because he was tied to the first monkey! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? - Peer pressure Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - It was doing a monkey impression! he he they are my favourite jokes!!! lol thats funny even though its kinda strange still funny esp the peer pressure bit lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cushy Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiggerbabe Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 One beautiful Sunday morning, a man wakes up and rolls out of bed. As part of his normal routine, he kisses his wife and children, grabs a cup of coffee, and walks over to the front door to get the newspaper. As he steps out to pick up the paper, he notices a snail walking across his doorstep. He picks up the snail and leisurely chucks it across the street into a field. Ten years later, he wakes up on another beautiful Sunday morning. As part of his normal routine, he kisses his wife and children, grabs a cup of coffee, and walks over to the front door to get the newspaper. As he steps out to pick up the paper, he notices a snail on his doorstep. The snail looks up at him and says, "What the f##k was that all about?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 One beautiful Sunday morning, a man wakes up and rolls out of bed. As part of his normal routine, he kisses his wife and children, grabs a cup of coffee, and walks over to the front door to get the newspaper. As he steps out to pick up the paper, he notices a snail walking across his doorstep. He picks up the snail and leisurely chucks it across the street into a field. Ten years later, he wakes up on another beautiful Sunday morning. As part of his normal routine, he kisses his wife and children, grabs a cup of coffee, and walks over to the front door to get the newspaper. As he steps out to pick up the paper, he notices a snail on his doorstep. The snail looks up at him and says, "What the f##k was that all about?" Well that just tickeled me!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Stabby Posted August 22, 2003 Author Share Posted August 22, 2003 what do you call a fly with no wings? - A walk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators DavidB Posted August 22, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 22, 2003 Ahhh u guys, giving me a happy morning lol u rule Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NVYUS Posted August 22, 2003 Share Posted August 22, 2003 A Very old man is sitting down writing a letter to his beloved son who is doing life for armed robbery, but is NOT GUILTY! He writes, Dear Son, My Arthritis is starting to play up on me again and gout is starting to bother me as well. I'm not as young as I use to be, and the lawns are getting really overgrown now and I can't get to the garden, to plant all my crops which is probably over-run with weeds by now. I really wish you were here son. It's really hard living in the Country on your own. Anyways son, Take care and write me soon. Love, Dad. His son receives the letter a week later and replies. Dear Dad, I'm really Sorry I can't be there for you when you really need me, But under the circumstances, This is the best I can do. If you paid someone to do the lawns and garden for you, it might make things a little better. So if you look around the back yard you should find the money from the heist to pay for it. Love, Your Son The day the father receives the letter, Police turn up with a search warrant to search the back yard. All day they work digging and cutting and pulling up weeds until they had dug up the hole back yard, Very frustrated they find nothing. The old man just stands there scratching his head as they apologise and leave. A couple of days later, He receives another letter from his son. It reads, Dear Dad, I'm sorry for telling those lies in the first letter that I sent to you, but, Under the circumstances, It's the best I could do. Love Your son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators DavidB Posted August 22, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 22, 2003 lol that's a cool one, never heard that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Stabby Posted August 23, 2003 Author Share Posted August 23, 2003 I slept like a log last night.I woke up in a fireplace! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators DavidB Posted August 23, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 23, 2003 Poor Stabby! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Stabby Posted August 23, 2003 Author Share Posted August 23, 2003 Poor Stabby! he he! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators DavidB Posted August 23, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 23, 2003 I hope there wasnt a fire! :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Stabby Posted August 23, 2003 Author Share Posted August 23, 2003 (edited) A psychotherapist started up his own buisiness and,in order to attract patiants,he asked a young artist to write a name sign above the front door. But three weeks later,in spite of advertising,he was still awaiting his first patiant.What seemed particularily strange was that a number of women had approached the building,but then turned away suddenly.So he decided to take a look at the sign which the artist had written in case that was somehow to blame.Due to shortage of space it read: PSYCHO THE RAPIST Edited August 23, 2003 by Mr Stabby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators DavidB Posted August 23, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 23, 2003 lol well i wudnt go to see him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
POTATOES Posted August 23, 2003 Share Posted August 23, 2003 I slept like a log last night.I woke up in a fireplace! hehehehe, that tickled me! ermmm....i only know bad jokes....ermmm.... why ducks have flat feet? to stamp out forest fires! why do elephants have flat feet? to stamp out burning ducks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Stabby Posted August 23, 2003 Author Share Posted August 23, 2003 Why is it when we talk to god we're said to be praying,but when god talks to us we're schizophrenic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Stabby Posted August 23, 2003 Author Share Posted August 23, 2003 What do you call a three legged donkey? - A wonkey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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