Long day in the SGC?

[Tippin]

Has it been a long day in the SGC? Have you been safe from Goa'uld and Wraith attacks for weeks on end? Has training become a seemingly pointless exercise? Well never fear for the answer to all your SGC blues are at hand!

 

Level One Entertainment

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other a Tok'ra must be in the toilet at the time).

3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now.Bye."

5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".

7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out,

say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

8) Walk sideways to the photocopier and through the Stargate.

9) While riding an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

 

Level Three Entertainment

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be an Asgard within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is locking the chevrons.

 

Level Five ENtertainment

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Ra".

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go

do a number two".

5) After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

12) Come to work in FBI clothing and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting asgard with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

[Tippin]

And if that weren't enough...

 

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."

5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6) In the subject field for all your e-mails, write " FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS".

7) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

8) Don't use any punctuation

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12) Sing along at the opera.

13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"

18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car park yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

[tiggerific]

[lookingfortarzan]

hours of fun

[Jeni]

[Kayla]

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

 

 

I did that one at work yesterday!!!!

[Smaug]

They were faxed into work from the London lot a few weeks ago lol. Obviously as I don't work in the SGC all the Stargate bits hadn't been added. Here are some more for your entertainment!

 

1 ) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which.

 

2 ) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes.

 

3 ) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would.

 

4 ) Act like a hillbilly. Period.

 

5 ) Improvise Italian operas.

 

6 ) Gossip about someone to their face.

 

7 ) Answer every question with a question.

 

8 ) Repeat yourself constantly.

 

9 ) Act like a member of the opposite sex.

 

10 ) Repeat yourself constantly.

 

11 ) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.

 

12 ) Repeat yourself constantly.

 

13 ) Change what you repeat every now and then.

 

14 ) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks.

 

15 ) Change what you repeat every now and then.

 

16 ) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else.

 

17 ) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries.

 

18 ) Change what you repeat every now and then.

 

19 ) One word: Caffeine.

 

20 ) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar.

 

21 ) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

 

22 ) Using non-existent words like George Bush would.

 

23 ) Change what you repeat again.

 

24 ) Speak in rapid Spanish.

 

25 ) Pretend not to know about the rule of personal space.

 

26 ) When doing number 25, pretend to have a heavy nose cold causing you to breathe heavily through your mouth. Sneeze occasionally.

 

27 ) Change what you repeat again.

 

28 ) You are better than everybody else. Let them know so.

 

29 ) Rudely correct everybody's grammar.

 

30 ) Don't proper grammar use while you are correcting them.

 

31 ) Pretend to be drunk.

 

32 ) Groom yourself while standing backwards (towards everybody) in an elevator.

 

33 ) Change what you repeat again.

 

34 ) Pretend your name is Cletus-Atkins-Wheatherby-Percival-Smith, and don't answer to anything else.

 

35 ) Call everybody you know Bob or Georgia. Bob for girls, Georgia for boys.

 

36 ) Fine people for stupid things, like being too popular, or having to many teeth.

 

37 ) Change what you repeat again.

 

38 ) For those who wish to annoy, riddles is that in which you should speak.

 

39 ) Lick your lips constantly, acting as if doing so is pleasurable.

 

40 ) Pretend to be high.

 

41 ) Become severely narcoleptic in the middle of a conversazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

 

42 ) Change what you repeat again.

 

43 ) You ARE the lord of the dance. Never forget that.

 

44 ) Speak in Gaelic.

 

45 ) Blink rapidly and constantly.

 

46 ) Scratch yourself constantly. I am not saying where.

 

47 ) Strut.

 

48 ) Start repeating what you say as soon as you say it.

 

49 ) Start repeating what you say as soon as you say it.

 

50 ) Become "The Masked Wedgie Giver."

[DarkElfUK]

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

 

 

I did that one at work yesterday!!!!

How...WEIRD...are yoou!!

[lookingfortarzan]

LOL

 

god the boys at work....Chris was thinking of sarongs as I was talking about sari's and he said are they called schlongs

 

oh I nearly died

[Smaug]

People here have to stop making me laugh so loud. Schlongs... LMAO...

 

Me and my best mate were in textiles years ago and she went to say square pillow and it came out as squillo. I laughed HARD for 15 mins... I was sent out the classroom to calm down lol.

[DarkElfUK]

LoL..I can soo imagine you getting sent out..lol ...squillo..

[lookingfortarzan]

lol apparantly now in rainbows you can't say get in a circle for some weird symbolic reason...so you now have to say squircle

 

sigh

 

sad as it is first time I heard it...."man walks into a bar.... and says ouch" had me laughing for ages

[DarkElfUK]

 

sad as it is first time I heard it...."man walks into a bar.... and says ouch" had me laughing for ages

Classic!!

 

What's 'Rainbows'?

[Smaug]

lol apparantly now in rainbows you can't say get in a circle for some weird symbolic reason...so you now have to say squircle

 

sigh

 

sad as it is first time I heard it...."man walks into a bar.... and says ouch" had me laughing for ages

Rainbows are before Brownies.

 

 

And I know the simple ones rock... Also... How do you kill a circus?

 

 

 

Go for the Juggler. Gerrit?

 

What's black and white and eats like a horse?

 

 

 

A Zebra!!!

 

I could go on but I wont.... :lol:

[DarkElfUK]

LoL, my Dad told me that juggler one, like yesterday!!

 

Still it's pretty funny!

 

I like the Zebra one tho!

[DarkElfUK]

And of course Rainbows it before Brownies..I should've known!

[Smaug]

Some pink tarmac, some black tarmac and some paving slabs walked into a bar one day and all bought some drinks... all of a sudden the pink tarmac starts foaming at the mouth, shouting and attacking the barman. The police came and put the pink tarmac in a straight jacket and dragged him out. The black tarmac and the paving slabs looked shocked. The barman said: "Didn't you know? The pink tarmac is a cyclepath?!"

 

Psycopath? Cyclepath? eh? eh? *the* worst joke in the world.

[DarkElfUK]

That's a goodun..but I'd never remember it!

[Smaug]

A rabbit goes into a pub and asks: "Can I have a cheese and ham toastie please?" The bar man makes him one. The rabbit pays and leaves. The next day he's back: "Can I have a tuna and cheese toastie please?" The barman makes one, the rabbit eats, pays and leaves. This goes on for the rest of the week, each day a different toastie. Then on the last day a different rabbit comes into the bar. The bar man asks: "What's happened to the other one?" The new rabbit replies: "Oh, he died last night of mix-a-ma-toasties."

 

 

*groan*

 

[DarkElfUK]

I don't get it!

[Smaug]

rabbits get a disease called mixamistosis. (can't spell it) classic word play joke.

[DarkElfUK]

Ohhh, never heard of it..but I understand the play on words now!

[Kayla]

A rabbit goes into a pub and asks: "Can I have a cheese and ham toastie please?" The bar man makes him one. The rabbit pays and leaves. The next day he's back: "Can I have a tuna and cheese toastie please?" The barman makes one, the rabbit eats, pays and leaves. This goes on for the rest of the week, each day a different toastie. Then on the last day a different rabbit comes into the bar. The bar man asks: "What's happened to the other one?" The new rabbit replies: "Oh, he died last night of mix-a-ma-toasties."

 

 

*groan*

 

 

I get it!!!

 

That rabbit shouldn't have mixed his toasties so much!!!!

[Smaug]

See, a hilarity in it's purist form.

 

I'm fresh outta jokes at the moment...

[DarkElfUK]

But if you've never heard of mixamistosis, you wouldn't get it anyway..

 

I can't beleive I was outsmarted by Kayleigh!

Edited April 9, 2005 by DarkElfUK