The Lady Elanor Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 Would you believe my Grandmother just emailed me this? There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent b'stard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KB Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 LMAO now thats a joke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Lady Elanor Posted March 14, 2004 Author Share Posted March 14, 2004 I get worse A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?" She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't think my pet python weally gives a thit." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legalblonde Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Lady Elanor Posted March 14, 2004 Author Share Posted March 14, 2004 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sporty_Si Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 Liking them :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narago Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 OMG, i love these, thanx for cheering me up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarwen Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 Heh heh LMFAO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistaken_plane Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 s'what mondays are made for! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steph 109 Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 lol wow really cheered me up, im really not with it today, at school i was tryin to get into my locker i was there for about half an hour and they key wouldnt turn and we were bangin it and hittin it tryin to force it open then i realised it werent even my damn locker lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistaken_plane Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 aw. poor you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steph 109 Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 i did feel kinda stupid afta! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy_s Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 lol wow really cheered me up, im really not with it today, at school i was tryin to get into my locker i was there for about half an hour and they key wouldnt turn and we were bangin it and hittin it tryin to force it open then i realised it werent even my damn locker lol lol! Im always doing stupid stuff like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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