beckycullen113 Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 A shock tingled through me, it wasn’t pleasant but it was bearable. What shocked me was the click in my brain, and the visions danced in front of my eyes until it came into focus, and through my eyes I saw the world I lost long ago. I knew it wasn’t real; it was like a dream, it wasn’t possible but this place seemed so familiar that I knew it was part of me. The room before my eyes made all the memories come rushing back, it was the room I grew up in, the room I saw the future in, the room I died in, and the room I woke up in. It seemed like when I see the future, like a black and white film, covered with mist. I saw through my own eyes my dream, the dream that little did I know then, in a few short hours would come true. I woke in a sweat and heard a scream so bloodcurdling it made my toes curl, it stopped, it was then I realised that the scream was coming from me. In the corner Cynthia snored gently, oblivious to the world. My father, the most superstitious man on earth clapped his hand over my mouth as I yorned so as not to let the devil in. I had to tell them the dream, I had no choice, so I told them. And then it happened, barely a couple of hours after id left the house, a man, heart achingly beautiful walked into my vision, the wind picked up and his head turned sharply my way. I picked up my walk and behind me I saw he had turned around to follow, his pace quickening up to an impossible speed, he was only a few yards behind me when he slowed down, his ace matching mine again. He wore a grin, a grin that made me tremble with fear as I looked over his perfectly evil smile. When I got in I saw my dream play out before my eyes, I turned and ran, around the corner I found my dad and sister, there terror matched mine, in my fathers hand was two train tickets, and in the other was a form. The room I was put in had soft walls, there was a bang, I felt a cold hand caress my neck, and a soft whisper filled my ears, “I wouldn’t have gone to all this trouble†he said, “but you just smelled so goodâ€, and then the pain started, fire flared through my neck, slowly spreading through my body, unbearable. And in front of my eyes I saw a beautiful face, and another, kinder voice whispered in my ear, “He will kill me, but I have given you new life, do not waste it. I smiled at Kate who as sitting opposite, her shock on her face was almost funny, and I thought she was the one who had shocked me, and then there was Jasper. By Becky Gordon Age 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeahBlack. Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Wow! This was just...wow! You're an amazing writer considering your only 13! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beckycullen113 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 Thankyou! I wrote it really quickly aswell, but when you get an idea you just have to write it down you know. Ill probably come up with a better idea in a few days and be anouyed that I didnt write that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeahBlack. Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Thankyou! I wrote it really quickly aswell, but when you get an idea you just have to write it down you know. Ill probably come up with a better idea in a few days and be anouyed that I didnt write that! Your welcome. Yeah, definitely :) Ahaa. I loved it! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlistara Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Good job! One can almost see and feel what the protagonist has to go through! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimmykins Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Wow! That was a really good story, I really enjoyed reading it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beckycullen113 Posted January 31, 2009 Author Share Posted January 31, 2009 thankyou but I have just realised that I forgot to put a speach mark at the end of what that guy said!!! my english teacher would kill me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xVickyCullenx Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Ooh, I loved it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beckycullen113 Posted February 1, 2009 Author Share Posted February 1, 2009 I had to cut like 6 paragraphs out, it would have been alot better if they could have been in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evie_Nitram Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Interesting. I like the idea behind it, and especially like that Alice's future-telling manifests itself in dreams whilst she's human. Great story. Well done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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