fanfic

[flutterby80]

Hello, this is Tanya's diary from Edward's 6 day visit to Denali in chapter 2 OPEN BOOK, I'm not that great with grammar and things so be nice... many thanks!!!

 

DAY 1 I've not written in a very long time, I have been occupied filling my mind and time with my human pets for obvious reasons... HE is back. The most excruciating few years waiting for his decision to love me in return. Our last encounter I left him to think about being my companion. I am completely in love with him. He knows it. It is so hard to control these human emotions which are meant to be as dead as my soul. Just the sight of him made my dead heart feel like it was beating and erupt through my chest into his open arms. The fire that rages in me, not for the thirst of blood, but for him. His presence, his touch. Honestly I don't have any problems with human men, perks of the disease and being a Succi. I can have anyone, but Edward... he hasn't said a word to me yet.... I think I know why!

 

DAY 2 I kept my distance today. Irina advised us that he is here to "clarify his mind". Edward continued to isolate himself from us. He must have noticed me watching, heard me thinking, I tried my hardest not to think of him, of his perfection, his coy slanted smile that makes my ice cold blood boil, thoughts of how much I want him. I try to block those thoughts!

 

DAY 3 Much to Irina's disgust I gave into my desire for him, over the past few days, disguising it with playful banter, play fighting and hunting. It's hard pretending ' It's-ok-you-not-reciprocating-my-love-I'm-ok-with-just-being-friends-NOT'. I know he's not here for me.

 

DAY 6 EDWARD is gone... I followed him, I couldn't help it. He was laying in the snow, star gazing, looking magnificent. I hate the way he compliments me "you're a thousand times lovelier than the stars" he said and his stubbornness does knock my confidence. I hate to admit it. I never get rejected. Men love me, but not the way I really want to be loved, the way I want Edward to love me. I can't help but think that he is running from something, I told him not to run, be the courageous Gentleman I know he is. Irina says it's a human girl and Carlisle is concerned for them. Typical a human. Maybe it would end in disaster, maybe he would be happy with me as second best....I totally understand Rosalie's human obsession now...They have a few things I envy and now they have Edward..I knew this was goodbye.

 

Flutterby xoxo

[xVickyCullenx]

Wow, I'd never really thought about how Tanya was feeling before