Alone

[Twilight_fanatic92]

Love, life, meaning, over...

 

I lay on the couch, my clothes soaked through, alone.

He wasn't coming back, he didn't love me.

The knowledge that Edward was no longer mine overwelhmed me as i sunk further into the black pit of dispair, the only thing pulling me from my reveree, the ringing of our house phone, people calling to see if i had been found, to see if i was even alive. I didn't feel alive, i didn't feel anything except loss.

 

"I don't love you anymore"... i shot up out of my bed, those few words haunting me in this newly formed nightmare, only it wasn't a nightmare, it was real. There was no way i could go back to sleep and continue reliving the events that had occured no longer than 9 hours ago, so i got up and showered, barely noticing when the water ran cold, dressing in, goodness knows what, and stumbled down the stairs to a wide eyed charlie. He watched me cautiously as i went to make him breakfast, constantly asking me if i was "ok" though how anyone could assume me to be ok after what had happened was beyond me! I set his breakfast down and left the room before he could start the inquisition and grabbed my book bag before leaving the house, with a timid click of the door behind me- i didn't feel like slamming it. Once in the safety of my trucks cab i stared at the hole in the dashboard that once contained a pristine stereo from the Cul..... and thats when the tears began. I sat there for what felt like hours, unable to drive through my blurry vision, allowing myself to finally think about my second family. I continued to stare at the hole in the dashboard somehow believing it held the key to my existence, though he had left, taking half my heart with him. I ran through our first and last nights together, the way Edward had changed after my birthday, and how i had allowed myself to believe he was going to take me with him, how stupid i was not to see that he didn't love me.

"I don't want you to come with me", he didn't want me, he had no need for me, and i could see that, i was ordinary, nothing any female vampire could compete with. I allowed this to help stop the tears long enough to drive to school.

 

I arrived at school, the truck engine popping loudly as i parked, I could feel the stares penetrating my trucks cab, and i prepared myself for many more as i exited the truck, my hood up and my head down, hoping to aviod contact with anyone, as if i could get away with that. "Bella, Bella, are you ok?", there was that word again, ok. I didn't know who was asking me, so i answered with a mere yeah, that i myself could barely make out, but i assumed they heard me as no more questions came my way. The entire school day was one whole blur of lessons, walking, lunch, lessons, home, i barely noticed my friends, or the rain, or when i fell and scraped my chin, nothing, no pain could compare to the one in my heart, the pain that would be with me for the rest of my life, my life alone.

Edited April 15, 2009 by Twilight_fanatic92