OUT OR NOWT?

[dazzlerjames]

Sorry if this has already been discussed but Zach Quinto (Star Trek, Heroes) has said that he is relieved to finally be "out" about his sexuality.

 

My question is, in today's society, do we really care what sexuality an actor/actress is and do we really need to know?

 

Cheers

[DavidB]

It's strange because a few celebs have done it recently, and they were mostly ones that everyone assumed were gay anyway.

 

I think in the case of Quinto, he's done it for a very moral reason and I admire that, just like I admired his aversion to discussing it beforehand. I always felt like it didn't matter, but if in this case it can be done for a good reason then that's pretty admirable I think.

 

There'll always be a few people that have issues with it, but I certainly think it's far more accepted these days.

[dazzlerjames]

I agree that acceptance is more common place but they must still feel pressure to disclose their sexualities and for what reason?

 

I mean me, you and anyone else wouldn't disclose that information to people we don't know so why do the public feel that celebs have to?

 

But yeah agree that most celebs that come out as gay then people tend to just go yep thought so, apparently I heard that John Barrowman was gay!!

[DavidB]

To be honest, I think it's just celebrity and those in the spotlight in general .. it's always a case of us knowing far more than we need to. So it doesn't really come down to us needing to know sexuality, but rather a stupid fascination with every little detail of our favourite stars .. what they wear, what they had for dinner etc. They'll always share more than is necessary!

[nicky]

Sex is taboo and is thus controversial. Ergo sex is gossip and interesting I guess.

[etmuse]

To be fair, none of us would announce to people that we didn't know that we were getting married/divorced/having a baby/any other of the things people seem to expect those in the public eye to disclose either. What 'the public' wants to know about the personal lives of celebrities doesn't seem to have any limits.

 

It doesn't really matter at all to me, but I do applaud those who have come out almost to make a point that it's not something to be ashamed of - which seems like quite a high percentage of the recent revelations. I'm sure that as much as it doesn't matter to me, there's a scared teenager out there to whom it matters a whole lot.

 

Maybe one day, when society is fixed...

[nicky]

Maybe one day, when society is fixed...

 

So long as the media is a strong influence then people will always be conditioned by society to act a certian way in order to conform. People fear or at least have views on what is 'different' or not the 'norm'.

 

To be PC, sex is bad and taboo. Anything to do with sex makes the news or gossip even amongst friends. So and so is gay, so and so had an affair, so and so is going out with so and so, so and so rejected so and so etc. Sex is exciting subject matter cos it is controversy and taboo.

[Count Fooku]

It explains why his potential signing fee has increased so much, all those tickets to Broadway Musicals and fashion guides can't be cheap.

[dazzlerjames]

It explains why his potential signing fee has increased so much, all those tickets to Broadway Musicals and fashion guides can't be cheap.

 

 

At least I know you're joking!!

[nosfer2]

When I heard the news I realised that I'd never even thought about his sexuality. Hearing that he'd come out I just thought "Oh, I guess that makes sense."

[BigSi13]

It explains why his potential signing fee has increased so much, all those tickets to Broadway Musicals and fashion guides can't be cheap.

Broadway Musicals = The Count's strong point.....

[cyd0nian]

[Donkey]

It explains why his potential signing fee has increased so much, all those tickets to Broadway Musicals and fashion guides can't be cheap.

 

Weren't you seen in the West End a few nights ago (see other thread).

 

Is there something you want to tell us?

[GoldenGreen]

Sorry if this has already been discussed but Zach Quinto (Star Trek, Heroes) has said that he is relieved to finally be "out" about his sexuality.

 

My question is, in today's society, do we really care what sexuality an actor/actress is and do we really need to know?

 

Cheers

 

I don't know his personal situation, but if he is relieved to be "out" then I think that must be the best situation for him. There was a time when studios controlled their actors so tightly they would fabricate relationships and protect their actors sexuality at all costs , but times have changed and for most people this isn't really an issue in 2012 (Thankfully).

[cunningham1471]

Sorry if this has already been discussed but Zach Quinto (Star Trek, Heroes) has said that he is relieved to finally be "out" about his sexuality.

 

My question is, in today's society, do we really care what sexuality an actor/actress is and do we really need to know?

 

Cheers

 

The media care, most people in society don't.

 

IMO we don't need to know, I don't read celeb gossips mags as I have no interest in their personal lives. If an actor is gong to be in such and such a film I'm interested, the fact he/she has 2 kids and a cat is irrelevent to me. I really don't care.

 

I actually find people that make a point about "coming out" really annoying. I'm sure it's a big deal to them, but "some" use it or being gay as an badge of honour, often mentioning it for no apparent reason.

 

I've had many an disagreement wit my sister over this topic. You are who you are. You don't need to make a point or big deal of it. It can actually make things awkward at times. When my sister came out and told me I said just said "oh" and carried on with what I was doing. Now I'm sure it was a big deal to her blah blah blah, but what in the hell am I or anyone supposed to say when a person comes out?

 

1) No you're not I forbid it! (at this point the person instantly will become hetrosexual as someone had forbidden them to be gay)

2) Congratulations on being gay!

3) Hooray!! (jumps up and down excitedly)

4) Well done (and shake their hand)

 

There are lots of people in showbusiness that are openly gay that have just got on with their lives having relationships, many long term while not "officially" announcing to the world they are gay. When I find celebs do make an effort to go public they go down in my estimations and become more boring as people as it looks like they are doing it for effect, raise their profile and make sure they get in magazines and papers.

[nosfer2]

To be fair, Zach didn't do it to raise his profile. He decided to come out after hearing of the suicide of a young gay man who was ashamed of his sexuality.

[cunningham1471]

To be fair, Zach didn't do it to raise his profile. He decided to come out after hearing of the suicide of a young gay man who was ashamed of his sexuality.

 

I didn't know that and that is very sad.

 

I'm still not sure what difference it makes as it won't help that poor guy and it won't stop anyone else that is going through a bad time get treated any better by homophobic people. IMO there is a difference between revealing something that needs to be addressed for example Jimmy white announcing he had a form of cancer to do with either the testicles or prostrate that needs to be caught early and treated so guys check yourself and someone coming out and saying this is my sexuality.

When celebs (I'm not taking about just Zach) come out they have already made it, they are at the top or successfull. If they come out once they've ridden the media circus train for a few weeks they'll still get work because of who they are, they're now "brave for coming out" and a "role model." They're not likely be a victim of a "queer bashing" or suffer extreme prejudice in an industry that employs the higher than average homosexuals, unlike some "average" person may be.

[DavidB]

But there is always hope that the more high profile people that come out, the more acceptable it will be to those bullies etc, seeing that these 'cool' guys are actually gay and that it's not something to be mocked etc.

[jael001]

I'm actually really shocked at your attitude and your cynicism cunningham1471. Actors, musicians, sportsmen etc coming out often makes a huge difference to teenagers and others who are living in the closet and afraid to come out, afraid that that revealing they are gay will mean they are subjected to bullying and abuse. Seeing someone they admire have the courage to announce to world that they are gay often means that they no longer feel they have to fear what they are and and can give them the push to come out themselves.

 

Are you aware of the "It Gets Better" campaign? It's about being gay and how life can get better, many "out" celebrities have endorsed this campaign to show teenagers that they dont have to live their lives afraid of being found out, that things can and do "get better". The fact that they've "already made it" is exactly the point, it shows that just because you're gay, it doesn't mean that you have confom to stereotypes or be treated differently.

 

Many of the actors who have "come out" in recent times have done it without a huge announcement or for publicity for themselves. For example, Matt Bomer (from White Collar) recently came out. He didnt do it with fanfare, he's been in a committed relationship for many years and he and his partner have children. He's simply never addressed his personal life before, until he won an award recently and thanked his partner by name. That was his coming out, there was no press announcement about it, no opening his heart on Oprah's couch or similar.

 

Sean Maher recently came out too, the fact that he was playing a closetted gay character in a show (which sadly got cancelled) was apparently the catalyst for it. It was the perfect opportunity for him to talk about the issues of being a closetted man, the part was close to his heart, and he explained how he felt pressured to hide his sexuality in the industry and to have fake relationships with women in order to do that.

 

To be honest, what I found the most disturbing about your post was the way you talked about how your sister came out to you and your reaction. I'm sure she was quite distressed by your apparent indifference. Obviously this was something important to her and she wanted to share it with you and the fact that you didnt react other than saying "oh" makes me very uncomfortable. I know if I was to share something that important and personal with my family I'd expect a whole lot more than "oh".

[cunningham1471]

But there is always hope that the more high profile people that come out, the more acceptable it will be to those bullies etc, seeing that these 'cool' guys are actually gay and that it's not something to be mocked etc.

 

I understand what you are saying David, but I'm not convinced. The people that have the problem whether it's homohobic, racist, sexist etc rather than say they were wrong they just dismiss that person as being wrong. I used to like him/her until I found out..... Now he/she is a ******

 

It always amuses me when you see some woman say something along the lines of if he slept with me (say George Michael) I could turn him straight. Really?? people make up thri minds regardless of any truth or what they are told depending on their own ideas, prejudice or insecurities.

 

I'm a fat bloke. I'm 22st. I've lost count of the number of people that have quoted that employers can't discriminate against fat people that apply for a job as they think they are lazy or whatever. There are laws blah blah blah.

Very true. I agree with you. But, if that person has the view of I'm fat and therefore I'm lazy and doesn't offer me the job and when asked why they say. The other person gave a better interview (in reality they didn't) how would I know and how can I prove it?

I can be as judgemental as the next person. I can honestly say that any social judgement I have rightly or wrongly will change because someone I think is cool turns out to be something I don't agree with.If anything it will work against them and they would go from being cool to uncool as they are like or part of something I don't agree with.

 

IMO celebs that come out or jump on some bandwagon, often linked to some charity or illness only affect the people that have similar views or things in common with them as people. The rest will just find themselves a new cool person or role model.

[dazzlerjames]

I work with Young People and we have often discussed role models and what they mean to people. Children and teenagers look up to and respect / want to be like their idols. If by them making a statement of their sexuality helps others then i'm all for it.

 

If it is for self gratification or their 5 minutes of fame then fine (and to be honest, the public can often tell if this is the case or not!) but to raise awareness has got to be a good thing.

[cunningham1471]

I'm actually really shocked at your attitude and your cynicism cunningham1471. Actors, musicians, sportsmen etc coming out often makes a huge difference to teenagers and others who are living in the closet and afraid to come out, afraid that that revealing they are gay will mean they are subjected to bullying and abuse. Seeing someone they admire have the courage to announce to world that they are gay often means that they no longer feel they have to fear what they are and and can give them the push to come out themselves.

 

Are you aware of the "It Gets Better" campaign? It's about being gay and how life can get better, many "out" celebrities have endorsed this campaign to show teenagers that they dont have to live their lives afraid of being found out, that things can and do "get better". The fact that they've "already made it" is exactly the point, it shows that just because you're gay, it doesn't mean that you have confom to stereotypes or be treated differently.

 

Many of the actors who have "come out" in recent times have done it without a huge announcement or for publicity for themselves. For example, Matt Bomer (from White Collar) recently came out. He didnt do it with fanfare, he's been in a committed relationship for many years and he and his partner have children. He's simply never addressed his personal life before, until he won an award recently and thanked his partner by name. That was his coming out, there was no press announcement about it, no opening his heart on Oprah's couch or similar.

 

Sean Maher recently came out too, the fact that he was playing a closetted gay character in a show (which sadly got cancelled) was apparently the catalyst for it. It was the perfect opportunity for him to talk about the issues of being a closetted man, the part was close to his heart, and he explained how he felt pressured to hide his sexuality in the industry and to have fake relationships with women in order to do that.

 

To be honest, what I found the most disturbing about your post was the way you talked about how your sister came out to you and your reaction. I'm sure she was quite distressed by your apparent indifference. Obviously this was something important to her and she wanted to share it with you and the fact that you didnt react other than saying "oh" makes me very uncomfortable. I know if I was to share something that important and personal with my family I'd expect a whole lot more than "oh".

 

Sorry I didn't reply before I skipped over it by mistake.

 

I think we'll have to agree to disagree on a lot of things with this topic. Perhaps I'm just very jaded with the whole celeb "if it gets me noticed and in the papers" culture that many celebs and triple z-listers have about who they are, their lives, their opinions on current affairs and their own sense of importance.

 

There is a difference between somebody outing themselves if you want to call it that by thanking their partner, which is an normal thing to do and another doing it as an lets call it an revelation that is out of the blue the way some people do.

 

Sean Maher was different. There is a logical reason why he is talking about it. He wasn't doing it the way some people do purely for column inches. The story was less about him being gay as an individual and more about the prejudice of the industry and how closed minded they are.

 

Regarding my reaction to my sister coming out to me, that's just the way I am and actually the way my family is. She wasn't distressed at all about my indifference. Had it been reversed she would have been the same with me.

When my mum revealed she had cancer yet again and this time it was terminal, my sister and gran cried. I said oh right and went and made them a cup of tea to try and calm them down. When mum then revealed that this time she wasn't going to go through treatment to try and extend the time she had for a variety of reasons I said ok fair enough, it's your choice and nothing to do with me. No tears, no anger.

 

Nothing I could say could change that the cancer had returned and my mum was going to die. It is, what it is. Equally nothing I can say is going to stop my sister being a lesbian. She is, what she is.

 

There are plenty of advice and help books for gay people on how to come out. There are plenty of books of advice and help for people that have gay family members or friends and they are shocked, uncomfortable etc about it after they discover the person is gay. I don't know of any books for people that have no problems with homosexaulity. Probably because there isn't an issue to be addressed. If there isn't an issue it's really difficult to know what the correct thing to say is.

 

Like I said originally, what is the correct reply to someone coming out to you when it's not an issue with you? Well done! Hooray! Congratulations! Perhaps going for a high five with them and shout awesome!

 

I said.. oh

1st brother said.... so what?

2nd brother said... so are you still ok to house sit when we are on holiday?

3rd brother said.... what do you want for lunch?

 

Her sexuality is on the same level of interest to us as whether in the morning she puts her left sock on first or her right. Nothing changed after she came out to us. The only difference is 5 years later she emigrated to NZ and then last year got married. Other than that shes still the same nuisance she's been for the last 44 years. lol

[bondy25]

But when you think the highest trend for suicide among young people are those who are being bullied for being gay or perceived to be gay, the media have always presented gay men and women in the wrong image. I am more than happy to see more celebrities coming out and then this give other young people hope that things can get better and that they can get to the top if needs be.

 

I am a gay man and when I was growing up being gay was wrong and even teachers didn't protect me from the bullying because of the politics during the 1980s and for this I tried to commit suicide on many occasions. Now I work and run an LGBT youth group and even young people have commented that they like the fact that more and more celebs or sports persons coming and like I said it gives them hope that they can achieve something they put their heart too.

 

But there is always hope that the more high profile people that come out, the more acceptable it will be to those bullies etc, seeing that these 'cool' guys are actually gay and that it's not something to be mocked etc.

 

I understand what you are saying David, but I'm not convinced. The people that have the problem whether it's homohobic, racist, sexist etc rather than say they were wrong they just dismiss that person as being wrong. I used to like him/her until I found out..... Now he/she is a ******

 

It always amuses me when you see some woman say something along the lines of if he slept with me (say George Michael) I could turn him straight. Really?? people make up thri minds regardless of any truth or what they are told depending on their own ideas, prejudice or insecurities.

 

I'm a fat bloke. I'm 22st. I've lost count of the number of people that have quoted that employers can't discriminate against fat people that apply for a job as they think they are lazy or whatever. There are laws blah blah blah.

Very true. I agree with you. But, if that person has the view of I'm fat and therefore I'm lazy and doesn't offer me the job and when asked why they say. The other person gave a better interview (in reality they didn't) how would I know and how can I prove it?

I can be as judgemental as the next person. I can honestly say that any social judgement I have rightly or wrongly will change because someone I think is cool turns out to be something I don't agree with.If anything it will work against them and they would go from being cool to uncool as they are like or part of something I don't agree with.

 

IMO celebs that come out or jump on some bandwagon, often linked to some charity or illness only affect the people that have similar views or things in common with them as people. The rest will just find themselves a new cool person or role model.