Jump to content

Love at Conventions


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 177
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

I always find it a bit sad that people can't talk to each other. I guess it's just human nature to be shy. I was always abit shy until we moved house to a new area so had to then make the effort to make friends - now I'll talk to anyone!

 

You'll never find a partner if you can't talk to anyone. I work with teenagers to help improve confidence / self worth etc so if anyone wants any pointers then give me a shout

 

https://www.facebook.com/#!/dazzlerjames

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I always find it a bit sad that people can't talk to each other. I guess it's just human nature to be shy. I was always abit shy until we moved house to a new area so had to then make the effort to make friends - now I'll talk to anyone!

 

You'll never find a partner if you can't talk to anyone. I work with teenagers to help improve confidence / self worth etc so if anyone wants any pointers then give me a shout

 

https://www.facebook.com/#!/dazzlerjames

 

May be adding you - to take you up on the tips and hints lol

 

I'm probably at 80% of the shows/conventions that ME and SM put together, either as an attendee or crewing.

 

It would be lovely to share those experiences with someone who has the same interests as me, and isn't going to look at me like I'm some kind of strange, weird woman who is a geek (which the latter I am, and proud).

 

The trouble for me comes with my preference of the fairer sex!

 

I don't know that many lady loving ladies who do go to these sort of things - and those who do, are all coupled up.

 

And not looking the type, means that those who 'may' be single, wouldn't even give me a second look! (And I'm not stereotyping here at all).

 

Even at home, I'm practically the only single one out of my friends (both gay and straight), which can get depressing.

 

But as Rockstar (I think) said, there are also times I'm glad to be single, and glad to be on my own, and feel that life is much easier, but it doesn't alter the fact that there's no one to share those moments with.

 

Sob story over lol :blush:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

speaking from a great deal of experience,while i know what you are saying is completely true, sadly it is much easier said than done.

 

Just remember, these shows are great, especially the bigger ones with 10s of 1000s of people, these people you may if your lucky be able to strike up a relationship... but if not and you ruin all chances between you, and you dont want to be seen by that person you can both disappear for the rest of the show... unless you start asking EVERYONE at the show :-s

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It would be lovely to share those experiences with someone who has the same interests as me, and isn't going to look at me like I'm some kind of strange, weird woman who is a geek (which the latter I am, and proud).

 

Quite. I know my friends think I'm a bit odd going to these things, especially at my age but at the same time they are interested in who I've met etc. Even if they maybe think I should be settled down and hosting dinner parties every weekend.

 

The trouble for me comes with my preference of the fairer sex!

 

I don't know that many lady loving ladies who do go to these sort of things - and those who do, are all coupled up.

 

And not looking the type, means that those who 'may' be single, wouldn't even give me a second look! (And I'm not stereotyping here at all).

 

I think those sentiments could apply to all of us, no matter what your preference is. Figuring out who is single and who may be in the slightest bit interested in you once you do get talking isn't easy either way. No need to feel alone on that score.

 

Pity we don't all have some kind of inbuilt sensor for this kind of thing. Would make things a lot easier.

 

Even at home, I'm practically the only single one out of my friends (both gay and straight), which can get depressing.

 

Same here. Even the weird ones who I thought would struggle to meet someone have managed to do so. Which is even more disheartending as I'm a nice guy and have lots to offer :lol:

 

But as Rockstar (I think) said, there are also times I'm glad to be single, and glad to be on my own, and feel that life is much easier, but it doesn't alter the fact that there's no one to share those moments with.

 

T'was me indeed. Sometimes it's great. Sometimes I like just heading off and doing my own thing and perfectly content with that, other times it's great to share things with friends (I hate going to gigs on my own for example) but sometimes you want it to just be a special moment between you and a partner.

 

Ups and downs but have to say after some difficult years following a very bad and messy breakup I'm in a pretty good place right now and trying to be more confident and outgoing.

 

One of the best things that helped was startnig the job I do now. I regularly have to give presentations from anything from 5 to 100 people. Could barely stand up the first time but after some guidance and practice, now it doesn't really faze me at all. Now if only talking to women was as easy :blush:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I always find it a bit sad that people can't talk to each other. I guess it's just human nature to be shy. I was always abit shy until we moved house to a new area so had to then make the effort to make friends - now I'll talk to anyone!

 

You'll never find a partner if you can't talk to anyone. I work with teenagers to help improve confidence / self worth etc so if anyone wants any pointers then give me a shout

 

https://www.facebook.com/#!/dazzlerjames

 

May be adding you - to take you up on the tips and hints lol

 

I'm probably at 80% of the shows/conventions that ME and SM put together, either as an attendee or crewing.

 

It would be lovely to share those experiences with someone who has the same interests as me, and isn't going to look at me like I'm some kind of strange, weird woman who is a geek (which the latter I am, and proud).

 

The trouble for me comes with my preference of the fairer sex!

 

I don't know that many lady loving ladies who do go to these sort of things - and those who do, are all coupled up.

 

And not looking the type, means that those who 'may' be single, wouldn't even give me a second look! (And I'm not stereotyping here at all).

 

Even at home, I'm practically the only single one out of my friends (both gay and straight), which can get depressing.

 

But as Rockstar (I think) said, there are also times I'm glad to be single, and glad to be on my own, and feel that life is much easier, but it doesn't alter the fact that there's no one to share those moments with.

 

Sob story over lol :blush:

 

 

No probs, happy to help. This is going to sound like a cliche but it will happen when you least expect it or decide sod it I give up. That's when you'll meet someone - when there's no pressure.

 

[

 

(I hate going to gigs on my own for example)

 

 

I love going to gigs on my own - it means you don't have to worry about losing people!!

 

 

and to all of you that are single - just think of the money you're saving on Christmases and Birthdays - every cloud and all that!! :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

(I hate going to gigs on my own for example)

 

 

I love going to gigs on my own - it means you don't have to worry about losing people!!

 

True but then it's nice to have someone to send to the bar :)

 

And just to share the experience.

 

and to all of you that are single - just think of the money you're saving on Christmases and Birthdays - every cloud and all that!! :WINCE:

 

This is also true. My last girlfriend did like her presents at those times.

Edited by Rockstar6662
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Showmasters Admin

I have to say I'm very very lucky for so many reasons for meeting my wife, but the fact that she loves these events too is just the icing on the cake. If she wasn't I'd have real trouble with going to pretty much all of the events. Thankfully her loves them too and it's now just part of our life together, a mad wonderful part :WINCE:

 

These events are wonderful, they do bring a lot of people together with similar interests. We're all different but very very often we have one thing in common and that is at some point in our lives we've felt like an outsider. It's a stereotypical view of sci-fi fans but most of them I've talked to and got to know properly it's true. And I do consider myself one too.

 

We remember what that's like and don't want to make someone else feel it. So on the whole we are very friendly and welcoming :D

 

The thing I would say to anyone worried about feeling different and having trouble talking to people, just know that it doesn't matter how confident someone looks on the outside, we're all screwed up in some way. Talk to anyone for long enough and you'll learn no one is perfectly happy, no one is 100% happy with their looks, you really aren't that different ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

At LFCC, I got the guts up to say to one lady who was crewing that she had a lovely smile. She said "aw thanks" and that was the end. Haha. To be honest, it wasn't meant as a chat-up line, but more just as an honest statement. All my courage was spent on saying that to a complete stranger, and she didn't seem too interested in continuing a conversation (plus she was VERY busy on the photo-pick up area on Sunday, so didn't have time to), so nothing else was said. I had kinda hoped she would be on here after, so I could say a little more, but...

Edited by Zagreus
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have never really wondered if the chances of meeting somebody at these events are greater than in any other aspect of my life. So I haven't made a conscious effort to look anymore at these events than I would elsewhere. If I do meet someone then great . If not, life goes on.

 

I'm a relatively quiet person but will happily chat to anybody. The quiet part just means it's less likely, that I will initiate a conversation with somebody that I don't know. I do sometimes though. If you do know me from on here then feel free to grab me for chat. Everybody that I have spoken to has always been friendly.

 

I consider myself lucky as I have met, and now know some really great people from attending these events. Some are fellow attendees, and others are crew. I didn't go to LFCC and was frustrated at not seeing some of the guests, but, for the first time I also found myself missing some of those people that I have come to know. 'Annoyingly' they have become friends ;)

 

You may not meet 'the one' but you will meet some great people :WINCE:

 

we're all screwed up in some way.
Personally speaking, I can't deny that :D
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

I think if you go in with an open mind, not necessarily on meeting that special someone, but meeting like minded people etc then you never know. No harm in making friends, or even potential friends, and who knows what happens in the future. There's so many attendees :WINCE:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You may not meet 'the one' but you will meet some great people :WINCE:

Couldn't agree with that any more, I've made some great friends at showmasters events and although it won't happen for me, for someone else it could be that after a year of meeting up at the events it turns into a relationship. You never know what's around the corner. I wonder if a guest has ever fallen in love with an attendee and a relationship has started from that...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It does help when others start the conversation, or just say hi because they recognise you etc. That's always nice :WINCE:

 

Well I did feel brave enough to stop you and have a quick chat.. but that's because I recognised you :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I also find it quite hard to speak to other attendees, especially as I only 14, and I worry about how people would react if I started up a conversation with them.

 

i saw plenty of people there around your age and alot of people who were very reserved. a big group of girls were very shy and timid yet asked me for a photo and im really glad they did, they were all so lovely.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One of the best things that helped was startnig the job I do now. I regularly have to give presentations from anything from 5 to 100 people. Could barely stand up the first time but after some guidance and practice, now it doesn't really faze me at all. Now if only talking to women was as easy :D

One of the old bits of public speaking advice they give you about not being intimidated about having to talk to a crowd is just to imagine them in their underwear; it removes the threat of the besuited mob. But probably not the best advice if you're talking about chatting a woman up one to one! :D

 

(I hate going to gigs on my own for example)
I love going to gigs on my own - it means you don't have to worry about losing people!!
True but then it's nice to have someone to send to the bar :)

Absolutely!

It's also nice to have somebody to talk to during the various set breaks/stage changes/waiting about before the show etc; the average venue isn't usually bright enough to sit and read a book/magazine in during the period's nobody's playing, and I usuallly have trouble killing much more than ten minutes at a merch table. Generally I'm not too bothered about the gig itself, it's all the "downtime" around it you have to kill... but hey ho, it's a small price for the great freedom and convenience of being single.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One of the best things that helped was startnig the job I do now. I regularly have to give presentations from anything from 5 to 100 people. Could barely stand up the first time but after some guidance and practice, now it doesn't really faze me at all. Now if only talking to women was as easy :D

One of the old bits of public speaking advice they give you about not being intimidated about having to talk to a crowd is just to imagine them in their underwear; it removes the threat of the besuited mob. But probably not the best advice if you're talking about chatting a woman up one to one! :vader:

 

(I hate going to gigs on my own for example)
I love going to gigs on my own - it means you don't have to worry about losing people!!
True but then it's nice to have someone to send to the bar :)

Absolutely!

It's also nice to have somebody to talk to during the various set breaks/stage changes/waiting about before the show etc; the average venue isn't usually bright enough to sit and read a book/magazine in during the period's nobody's playing, and I usuallly have trouble killing much more than ten minutes at a merch table. Generally I'm not too bothered about the gig itself, it's all the "downtime" around it you have to kill... but hey ho, it's a small price for the great freedom and convenience of being single.

 

There's alot of con goers I wouldn't even want to iamgine in their underwear!! :D

 

I always speak to the people around me at gigs during set change etc - you'd be surprised how many people are in bands!!!

 

I've been married nearly 11 years - sometimes I really wish I was single!!! (so does my wife!) :vader:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe there could be a speed dating type thing at one of the events? It would be a good way for the shy people to talk with one another and a grate way to make new friends.

Unfortunately I think people would possibly be too shy to get involved. Plus you really need to be very outgoing, confident and have a gift for chat to make an immediate impression with something like that. If you struggle to talk to someone just in a queue etc it'd possibly be far too much pressure.

 

But I could be wrong and it might bring some people out of their shells a bit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How about for the next event people say what they may be wearing (costume, T Shirt etc) and they are more than happy to chat to people etc (not a dating agency way) just so people who are shy might have someone to chat to etc. Could also say age etc so people can feel easier with who it is (some might prefer their own age groups others might not mind) - I'm an old f*rt but happy to talk to anyone, any age etc but usually alone - dont worry not a predatory perv.............dirty old man yes but totally safe...lol

 

Or some in a group might spot one of the posters who has described themselves and just go over and say hello.

 

Could be an idea for the future?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Talking to women might help too Rob :YAHOO:

 

 

I knew I was going wrong somewhere lol, so just rocking up and clicking your fingers fonze style doesnt work then lol

 

 

just talk to a woman you like, easier said than done for those shy amoungst us, I freeze up, talk crap or sweat and run, my confidence is so low in regard women and I can be very shy :-(

plus come on, those woman who actually are single at these cons arnt looking for a tall fat shy dude like me, they seem to want twilight rock hard pecs or tennant look alikes lol

 

after writing this the word doomed is bouncing around in my mind.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Talking to women might help too Rob ;)

I knew I was going wrong somewhere lol, so just rocking up and clicking your fingers fonze style doesnt work then lol

 

probably not unless you are in fact The Fonze.

 

just talk to a woman you like, easier said than done for those shy amoungst us, I freeze up, talk crap or sweat and run, my confidence is so low in regard women and I can be very shy :-(

plus come on, those woman who actually are single at these cons arnt looking for a tall fat shy dude like me, they seem to want twilight rock hard pecs or tennant look alikes lol

 

There is that point. When they're all swooning over the latest star of whatever show, us mere mortals can't compete, even with our humourous t-shirts and ability to talk for hours about the merits or otherwise of 3D.

 

after writing this the word doomed is bouncing around in my mind.

 

Ah Rob, don't be like that. You never know what's round the corner. Admittedly it's been a very long corner for me but I'm sure it'll end at some point :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I ....., talk crap

You don't restrict that to just women ;)

 

Joking aside, I have been present when you have been chatting to women, and you appear to get on fine. Certainly a lot better than you think. In fact I am quieter than you are :D

 

I am not the best person to give advice out on this subject. I will say that, as with many things in life, if you approach it with a negative attitude (i.e. 'this is doomed to failure' before you apparoach someone) then the chance of it being a disaster are a lot higher. Even the most confident person will receive knock backs.

 

Some people place too much emphasis, and subsequently worry, on appearance. I doubt very much if every woman is looking for 'twilight rock hard pecs/tennant look alikes' (nice choices!). If they are then there are many women in this world who are with the wrong person, including a lot that I know. Different women like different things. It works both ways. No doubt there are women that you find attractive but I don't. While appearance is no doubt a factor in the selction process, the most important part is the person inside. Desert island choice - Would you rather be stuck with there with the most beautiful person in the world who is not a nice person, or with a lovely person who is not the most beautiful person in the world (nor the 2nd :P )? Easy choice I think.

 

I don't think there is a magicial answer for shy people. Just be yourself. What you consider to be a bad point about yourself may not be viewed as one by another person. So don't think about it at all (which I suspect a few do) when in a conversation. Focus on what the other person is saying, which is what you should be doing anyway.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think some of you shy guys should head to a local speed dating event, because it would certainly give you some practice at talking to women, I think you get like 3 mins with each lady, it'd help with the general shyness and who knows something great could come out of it, what have you got to lose, it would be fun and if all else fails there's always a bar for that sometimes much needed dutch courage!!!!

 

Also, speaking from my humble point of view, we women aren't always that shallow, whilst the gorgeous physiques of the hunky tv and film stars are a beautiful yet unattainable fantasy, we generally know that reality is fairly different, and I think you'll find upon chatting to most women we're all pretty happy and comfortable with the reality of what's out there!!!

 

I know it's easier said than done, hell I've been there, but do be yourself and just exude confidence even if to start with it has to be an act, the real you will shine through and just think of the possibilities!!!! ;)

 

Have fun :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Talking to women might help too Rob :D

 

 

I knew I was going wrong somewhere lol, so just rocking up and clicking your fingers fonze style doesnt work then lol

 

 

just talk to a woman you like, easier said than done for those shy amoungst us, I freeze up, talk crap or sweat and run, my confidence is so low in regard women and I can be very shy :-(

plus come on, those woman who actually are single at these cons arnt looking for a tall fat shy dude like me, they seem to want twilight rock hard pecs or tennant look alikes lol

 

after writing this the word doomed is bouncing around in my mind.

 

I saw you around over the LFCC weekend, but didn't come and say hi, as I assumed you might possibly be on your way to a photoshoot or something and didn't want to bother you. :P I would otherwise have come and said hello, but I can be quite shy too. I'm brave enough to approach people and say hello, but it goes downhill from there and have no idea how to continue once the "hello, how are you" is out of the way, lol! ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share


×
×
  • Create New...