kaspa44 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Has anyone had any bad experiences asking guests for hugs? I am really shy and have always wanted to ask for a hug in the photoshoots. I finally plucked up the courage to ask a guest this weekend who I have wanted to meet for a long time only to have one of the worst experiences ever. I don't want to go into detail or name the guest but I left feeling embarrased, rejected and like I had really offended them. I know lots of people ask for hugs or different poses so if a guest is not into this could the crew find out before hand and warn us so we don't have this awkward embarrasing situation in future. It completely ruined the weekend for me, has left me distressed and has lowered my opinion of the guest concerned as they could have handled it a lot better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not_Pennys_Ship Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Has anyone had any bad experiences asking guests for hugs? I am really shy and have always wanted to ask for a hug in the photoshoots. I finally plucked up the courage to ask a guest this weekend who I have wanted to meet for a long time only to have one of the worst experiences ever. I don't want to go into detail or name the guest but I left feeling embarrased, rejected and like I had really offended them. I know lots of people ask for hugs or different poses so if a guest is not into this could the crew find out before hand and warn us so we don't have this awkward embarrasing situation in future. It completely ruined the weekend for me, has left me distressed and has lowered my opinion of the guest concerned as they could have handled it a lot better I never have the guts to ask a celebrity for a hug, but, I have seen people ask for a hug and got them, notably with Alex Kingston today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericsdonor Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I always come out with "Can I be cheeky and have a hug please?" it's not failed me yet, thank goodness!! That's a real shame when you have an experience like that, I feel for you I really do! Try not to let it put you off though :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elspeth Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I don't generally ask for hugs with the guests...I think it's a little strange to ask to hug someone you don't know, but that's just me. I don't like to be the one to ask. Like today for instance i had two photos with Alex, I kinda wanted a huggy photo but didn't ask her even though she was doing them, instead i went for back to back pose. Although having said all that if a guest hugs me I'd NEVER turn them down! Richard Hatch and Lea Thompson both gave me hugs this weekend I guess it boils down to shyness, i'm not gernerally shy I'll talk to anyone, but I think i'm just worried about the social awkwardness of asking someone for a hug. Try not to be be down hearted about it though! The guest probably didn't mean to put a damper on your experience, perhaps they are just a bit like me, or maybe they weren't feeling to great... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charmer Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I don't always ask for hugs, but if I see other people doing so and being aloud then I'll sometimes ask. I did today with Alex and she was fine. I guess it depend how every else is on whether you'll get one. With the OP's case, I wouldn't feel to bad about it, perhaps someone before you got a bit too hands on and scared the guest a bit enough to put them off hugging? It's happend before so I wouldn't take it to heart or lose confidence in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnhuk Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I don't generally ask for hugs with the guests...I think it's a little strange to ask to hug someone you don't know, but that's just me. I don't like to be the one to ask. Like today for instance i had two photos with Alex, I kinda wanted a huggy photo but didn't ask her even though she was doing them, instead i went for back to back pose. Although having said all that if a guest hugs me I'd NEVER turn them down! Richard Hatch and Lea Thompson both gave me hugs this weekend I guess it boils down to shyness, i'm not gernerally shy I'll talk to anyone, but I think i'm just worried about the social awkwardness of asking someone for a hug. Try not to be be down hearted about it though! The guest probably didn't mean to put a damper on your experience, perhaps they are just a bit like me, or maybe they weren't feeling to great... I'm kinda the same. Feels a bit wrong, but if the guest instigates then no problem...Avery Brooks at MK the other year for example...grabbed me straight off the line! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisonloub Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I went on for a kiss with a guest and got rejected, still feel embarrassed now about it;! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaspa44 Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 I don't generally ask for hugs with the guests...I think it's a little strange to ask to hug someone you don't know, but that's just me. I don't like to be the one to ask. Like today for instance i had two photos with Alex, I kinda wanted a huggy photo but didn't ask her even though she was doing them, instead i went for back to back pose. Although having said all that if a guest hugs me I'd NEVER turn them down! Richard Hatch and Lea Thompson both gave me hugs this weekend I guess it boils down to shyness, i'm not gernerally shy I'll talk to anyone, but I think i'm just worried about the social awkwardness of asking someone for a hug. Try not to be be down hearted about it though! The guest probably didn't mean to put a damper on your experience, perhaps they are just a bit like me, or maybe they weren't feeling to great... I'm kinda the same. Feels a bit wrong, but if the guest instigates then no problem...Avery Brooks at MK the other year for example...grabbed me straight off the line! I agree I would not just hug a stranger off the street but we are paying a lot of money to get a unique photo experience with our favourite actors and in my opinion should be prepared to be asked for different poses within reason and most are more than happy to oblige. I understand that some of them might not like that kind of experience which is why I said we should be informed in some way to avoid any offence. Its just typical it is the first time I had the courage to ask and was shot down but will try and get over it and move on, I just really take a lot of things to heart and feel bad. Its great to hear about Avery, i would have loved a photo with him but did not have the money at the time, just got an Auto and in my opinion was one of nicest guests I have met and really made MK for me that year, such a gentleman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lizzy88 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 (edited) I only ask if I see they're willing to have interaction, and I'm not told there's a no touching/hugging rule. I had no problem asking Sir Derek Jacobi or Karen Gillan - Sir Derek I didn't give a full on hug because he put his arm over my shoulder (which was my aim) so took my cue from him, whereas Karen enveloped me in a hug I didn't ask Brent Spiner though as he didn't seem too keen on hugging, and was putting his hand over peoples shoulders anyway. Basically, I look at how they interact with the people in line in front of me, and if they seem they might be okay with the idea then I ask very politely - then take my cue from them. For instance, a couple of years ago I had one with Kai Owen - I didn't even ask for a hug, he just held his arms wide and told me to come to him so I gave him a massive bear hug as that was what was initiated by him so it wasn't awkward. EDIT: oh, and not so much a bad experience but an embarassing one - my first ever photo shoot was with Burn Gorman, but I've since found guests tend not to expect girls to shake their hands - I went to shake his hand but he went to put his arm round me so I ended up hitting him in the stomach, then got all flustered and trod on his foot. He thought it was really funny while I was mortified... I got a nice photo though! Edited July 10, 2011 by lizzy88 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnhuk Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I only ask if I see they're willing to have interaction, and I'm not told there's a no touching/hugging rule. I had no problem asking Sir Derek Jacobi or Karen Gillan - Sir Derek I didn't give a full on hug because he put his arm over my shoulder (which was my aim) so took my cue from him, whereas Karen enveloped me in a hug I didn't ask Brent Spiner though as he didn't seem too keen on hugging, and was putting his hand over peoples shoulders anyway. Basically, I look at how they interact with the people in line in front of me, and if they seem they might be okay with the idea then I ask very politely - then take my cue from them. For instance, a couple of years ago I had one with Kai Owen - I didn't even ask for a hug, he just held his arms wide and told me to come to him so I gave him a massive bear hug as that was what was initiated by him so it wasn't awkward. Wouldn't have minded a hug from Karen but being first in line I didn't wanna push it...she was giggling anyway, so I ended up with an arm around my waist (as far as she could get ;-)) that was fine!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicAvatar Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Has anyone had any bad experiences asking guests for hugs? I am really shy and have always wanted to ask for a hug in the photoshoots. I finally plucked up the courage to ask a guest this weekend who I have wanted to meet for a long time only to have one of the worst experiences ever. I don't want to go into detail or name the guest but I left feeling embarrased, rejected and like I had really offended them. I know lots of people ask for hugs or different poses so if a guest is not into this could the crew find out before hand and warn us so we don't have this awkward embarrasing situation in future. It completely ruined the weekend for me, has left me distressed and has lowered my opinion of the guest concerned as they could have handled it a lot better I do know that the crew will warn attendees if someone's specifically requested no contact or something like that, as it has happened before when the guest had an uncomfortable experience with an opportunistic attendee. But usually it's very difficult to judge, as the guest may not specify, be up for something one day, and not the next. My attitude to hugs is, "Ask - the worst they can do is say No." I hope. I'm sorry you had a bad experience. If it makes you feel any better, I made an eejit of myself yesterday. I am normally fairly good at catching body language cues from guests so know what sort of minimum contact they can handle, but completely missed that with Sir Derek Jacobi; I went to put my arm round his waist as I usually do and his arms were firmly by his sides - oooops! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlusCWM Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I have not had the courage to ask any guest I've met at any event for a hug before today... As I read from peoples experiences with Alex Kingston she seemed to be glad to do hugs, so I spent all my time in the queue pulling my guts together to ask her. She was very happy to do so, and I got one of the best experiences I've ever had with a fantastic photo to remember it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WHO1 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Katy Manning aka Jo Grant gave me a hug once. I said I look rubbish in photos and she in reply said "dont be silly you" and then gave me a massive hug, which was nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockstar6662 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 (edited) If it makes you feel any better, I made an eejit of myself yesterday. I am normally fairly good at catching body language cues from guests so know what sort of minimum contact they can handle, but completely missed that with Sir Derek Jacobi; I went to put my arm round his waist as I usually do and his arms were firmly by his sides - oooops! Just looking back at my picture with him and my hand is on his shoulder. I can't recall what he did, possibly put his arm round my back, but didn't seem to mind and i think that's what the people in front of me were doing. I look at the people in front and and follow suit. With Karen she kind of put her arm round my waist and I did the same and she pulled me in close. To be honest it's all a bit of a blur. Lea Thompson I didn't have any option. I was second in line and had only met her a bit earlier and when she saw me there she got all excited and waved at me as we'd had a bit of a laugh at her desk and I have the same name as her husband. She just grabbed me and it's a wonderful picture. The only one who was a bit reserved was Shawnee Smith. I don't know if that's the way she is or if it was just because it was first thing saturday morning and it was all new to her but she just had her hands clasped in front of her although I did put my arm round her waist, quite lightly and she didn't seem to mind. But she was lovely when I finally met her today and seemed to be a bit more relaxed. Overall I just go along with whatever seems to be the generally accepted norm judging by the people in front unless the guest does something different. It's all been good so far. Edited July 10, 2011 by Rockstar6662 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A007 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 It's ok if a guest instigates it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jael001 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I usually watch what others in the queue are doing ahead of me before deciding if I think they're willing to do a huggy pose or something similar. With Sir Derek I noticed that for most of the pictures he had his hands behind his back or held in front of him so I didnt even try to put my arms around him or ask, I just stood to the side of him, side on as I find that's more flattering (less chance of a double chin as my hair hides that lol), and I really like my picture with him :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flibble Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 EDIT: oh, and not so much a bad experience but an embarassing one - my first ever photo shoot was with Burn Gorman, but I've since found guests tend not to expect girls to shake their hands - I went to shake his hand but he went to put his arm round me so I ended up hitting him in the stomach, then got all flustered and trod on his foot. He thought it was really funny while I was mortified... I got a nice photo though! That was interesting that you said that guests don't expect girls to shake hands. I guess it's just a business thing with me, but I have always done that. I have had one experience when I offered my hand to an actor that I really like in a photo shoot and he just grabbed me into a huge bear hug instead! I was not complaining though.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcbizkit Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I didn't ask for a hug, but asked Robert Knepper if i could hold is pocket to which he replied he doesn't do that anymore. and we shared a laugh. Later on in the day i went up with a friend for an auto with him and we got him to whisper in our ears "Hey pretty" which was a scary yet very exciting experience. He wasn't sure if he could still do the voice and wasn't too sure about whispering in my ear, i think he was a bit shy saying it into a guys ear. But he did it with a little convincing and was just a really nice guy and very friendly. Did anyone else get this secret pleasure??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinkbunny Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 i've never asked for a hug until yesterday i just said to robert knepper can i have a hug please and yay. i told him it had been so nice to meet him i got another photo today where i asked if i was allowed a 2nd hug and he squished me. i was in a total fluffy smiley happy place after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimmykins Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I've asked for hugs from a few guests but only if it looks like they're OK with it from watching other attendees before me, first hug pose was Michael Shanks and he hugged me really tight <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Persephone1 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Sorry you had a bad experience. I personally never ask for hugs precisely because of what happened to you - nothing worse than asking and the other person being freaked out by it and you then coming away feeling absolutely awful. Generally when it comes to photoshoots I take my lead from the actor in how to stand. Derek Jacobi stood with his hands clasped behind his back so I made no attempt to touch him - Karen Gillan put her arm around people so I put my arm around her. Some are incredibly friendly (Misha Collins kissed everyone on the cheek and hugged them at one event I went too) others are much more reserved. Hey people are human and just because someone is famous doesn't necessarily mean that they're a touchy feely person or comfortable with people invading their personal space. Nor do they owe you any sort of physical contact just because you like them. If you think about it asking a total stranger for a hug just because you enjoy their work is actually rather weird. I'm sorry you had a bad time - but don't let it colour your view of the actor/actress in question. Maybe they're just not the huggy sort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlorix Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 If I want a huggy type picture and the guest is clearly doing them, I usually just dive straight in and never had any problems with that I'd looked over the PShoots with Corey Feldman from Sat and 95% were arm over shoulder or the peace "V" sign, so for the first time ever today I actually asked for a hug if it was okay, Corey replied "oh for sure!" and then full on squished up to me <3 I left with a huge grin saying thank you and he replied "my pleasure". I must admit the Goonies loving kid in me was SQUEEING in absolute delight!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christoff Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 That's a shame you had such a bad experience. On Saturday it was the first time that I asked a guest for a hug. I was nervous and worried she'd say no, but she said yes and it was great. I can only imagine how you can feel though, I'm sure it'd have ruined my day/weekend too, and probably put me off ever asking for a hug again. There are many guests that do hug anyone and everyone though, so try not to let it put you off asking other guests in future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chole110 Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Awwwwwwww poor you This has happened to friends before, and I can understand the embarassment. As others have said, I tend to just watch what people in front of me do, if others get hugs then I ask for one, if they don't then I don't! Most guests don't seem to mind, but yeah you do get the odd few that really don't want to! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giuseppe1969 Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 (edited) Alex's hugs must be legendary as another DW guest told my 8 yrs old to go and see her and give her a squeeze. Unfortunately we didn't have a photoshoot but it was nice to know anyway... Glad to read nice stories about Alex or other actors here although I wouldn't ask for a hug but if the actors makes the first step I would be ok. Edited July 11, 2011 by Bergman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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