Cadiliniel Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 DISCLAIMER – This story is based on characters and situations owned by the original author and publishers. No copyright infringement is intended or to be inferred. ~ Title: Into the Night Rating: G Word count: 167 ~ The daylight has long become shrouded for Sméagol. The sun does not give her light to him – she shuns him, as he shuns her. The sun had been shining the day he killed his cousin. He still remembers how the mighty Anduin had looked silver under the sun’s gaze. Drops of water on Déagol’s brow had glittered until they dried, dying in midday heat. The sun still holds a place for Sméagol, if he would only realize it. He has created the shroud and wrapped it around his own eyes. The sun has not abandoned him entirely. She waits, and hopes, that he will untie that shroud from his eyes and throw it aside. She waits, and she waits. Each moment of each day, Gollum pulls that knot tighter. His thin, bony fingers are stronger than their appearance belies. He has come to realize that Sméagol very rarely struggles against him now and for that he is grateful. He keeps pulling, knowing that one day Sméagol will become blind. ~ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosmic_llin Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 Oooh, le good! Very interesting metaphor. Poor Smeagol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cadiliniel Posted January 11, 2006 Author Share Posted January 11, 2006 Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evie_Nitram Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 Ohhh well done!! I liked this - it's short, but to the point and well written. If I could make one difference to it, it would have to be the repetitive use of the word shroud... Maybe a different one would fit in to give more variation within the sentence! Lizzi xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cadiliniel Posted January 11, 2006 Author Share Posted January 11, 2006 Thanks, glad you enjoyed it! Will bear in mind your suggestion - I'll probably be editing this before I archive it over at my account on Skyehawke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elenmai Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Very good. I love Smeagol/Gollum. I was more expecting Denethor fic from you though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cadiliniel Posted January 16, 2006 Author Share Posted January 16, 2006 Hee, thank you! I know, but I thought I'd have a wider audience if I didn't write about Denethor...apparently not though, lol! Maybe I'll submit another before the end! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosmic_llin Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Hey, elenmai, don't encourage her, she has exams! And there's nothing wrong with branching out, character-wise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cadiliniel Posted January 18, 2006 Author Share Posted January 18, 2006 Mwahaha, the voice of reason steps in *g* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosmic_llin Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Hmm, yes, you are obviously revising right now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elenmai Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Hmm, yes, you are obviously revising right now... 914909[/snapback] As are you, Llin. I don't think anything I say could make Cadiliniel more likely to write Denethor fic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cadiliniel Posted January 19, 2006 Author Share Posted January 19, 2006 *waves little 'I Support Denethor!' flag* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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