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Cadiliniel

Into the Night

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DISCLAIMER – This story is based on characters and situations owned by the original author and publishers. No copyright infringement is intended or to be inferred.

 

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Title: Into the Night

Rating: G

Word count: 167

 

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The daylight has long become shrouded for Sméagol. The sun does not give her light to him – she shuns him, as he shuns her. The sun had been shining the day he killed his cousin. He still remembers how the mighty Anduin had looked silver under the sun’s gaze. Drops of water on Déagol’s brow had glittered until they dried, dying in midday heat.

 

The sun still holds a place for Sméagol, if he would only realize it. He has created the shroud and wrapped it around his own eyes. The sun has not abandoned him entirely. She waits, and hopes, that he will untie that shroud from his eyes and throw it aside. She waits, and she waits.

 

Each moment of each day, Gollum pulls that knot tighter. His thin, bony fingers are stronger than their appearance belies. He has come to realize that Sméagol very rarely struggles against him now and for that he is grateful. He keeps pulling, knowing that one day Sméagol will become blind.

 

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Ohhh well done!! I liked this - it's short, but to the point and well written.

 

If I could make one difference to it, it would have to be the repetitive use of the word shroud... Maybe a different one would fit in to give more variation within the sentence!

 

Lizzi xxx

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Thanks, glad you enjoyed it! Will bear in mind your suggestion - I'll probably be editing this before I archive it over at my account on Skyehawke!

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Hee, thank you!

 

I know, but I thought I'd have a wider audience if I didn't write about Denethor...apparently not though, lol! Maybe I'll submit another before the end!

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Hmm, yes, you are obviously revising right now...

914909[/snapback]

 

 

As are you, Llin. I don't think anything I say could make Cadiliniel more likely to write Denethor fic...

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