FANFIC COMPETITION ENTRY

[timpe]

The Lie

 

Playlist - Lover You Should Have Come Over by Jeff Buckley

 

Could a vampire cry? I had always thought not. Yet though my eyes remained stubbornly tearless, I felt a sob catching in my throat. It burned, like breathing in her smell too deeply, too fast.

She believed me. So easily. I prided myself as the best of liars - it was a necessity for survival as a monster. But Bella had always seen me through me. One quizzical glance from her chocolate eyes and I was undone. All my carefully constructed artifice dropped away with one flush of her cheek. She had confronted me with the truth that no other human had dared acknowledge, and all too eagerly I had revealed that truth to her, exultant in her acceptance of each new facet of the monster I unveiled. But now, when I had given my most feeble performance, now she believed the lie. And the girl who had promised me “forever†was gone from my world. Were human hearts so easily changed?

 

I had done what I intended - she was safe from us. Out of harm’s way. Back to whatever destiny intended before I came into her life. I imagined a husband, perhaps a child with dimpled knees. A life. She was where she needed to be. But where was I? I was forever altered. Bella had brought the thaw – her soft brown hair, the rose of the lip she bit whenever I posed a question that required deep thought - these things were spring to my winter. But seeing her believe the lie, I felt the ice threaten again, the cold hands of the monster inside pulling me back to the despair I knew before. But I couldn’t go back. I would always love her, hopelessly, painfully, unchangingly. I was hers now - that truth would not alter. And I would live out eternity with the memory of how easily she accepted my goodbye.

 

I had always understood that vampires bore a capacity to love that was preternatural - a human simply wasn’t strong enough to love so deeply, had no need to. A love like that shared by Carlisle and Esme was built to span centuries. When Bella called my name in her sleep and I was confronted by the miracle of her wanting me, I dared to hope that we had found a connection which would last her lifetime. Not mine. Never mine.

 

She had reached for me, and I heard fear in her voice. But she hadn’t doubted me. Had she thrown my lie back at me, my resolve would have crumbled; I would have dropped to my knees and begged her forgiveness. But inexplicably, she had believed my single denial over every proclamation of love. And now the disgust I felt with myself at causing her pain was replaced by an icy fear that gnawed at me and spoke with the voice of the monster inside ‘she’s already begun to forget you’.

 

“Wait†she said. Could I cling to one word for eternity?

 

Rain Trower 2009

[rosiealmulla]

That was pretty mint!

Well expressed =]

[timpe]

That was pretty mint!

Well expressed =]

Awww, thanks.

[Betty]

Oh, me likey a lot

 

Plus you get extra points for the Jeff Buckley playlist.

[timpe]

Oh, me likey a lot

 

Plus you get extra points for the Jeff Buckley playlist.

 

It was the song that started me writing it - listening to my MP3 when I was waiting on hold with a bank for 37 minutes

[Jodie.rawr]

Firstly- Jeff Buckley <3<3

 

Secondly... wow!

I loved that, your use of description was amazing.

 

Good job hun :)

 

x