A decision has the power to change your life, for the better, for the worst, and how you react is key. The reasons that you formulate must be just. This is how I find myself now, with an impossible choice.
It is the kind of decision that rips from the inside out, clawing at my very being every moment. I believe that hopes and dreams are part of who we all are but they are not to be controlled, who could have guessed the path that has been chosen for me? I would never have hoped to have become what I am, I will never forget the torture of realising… And yet I am not afraid of this anymore. So what am I waiting for?
If I could say what I would have wished for my future I would have said to be successful, to be loved by someone who could fulfil my every desire, to always cherish my family and most of all to be happy no matter where I went. I think that this is what I have, I feel that this is what I have and I know that this is only because of what I have gone through. I take comfort in knowing that these people are mine, that I am forever bonded to them, body, mind and soul.
Could I willingly allow this to happen to another though, knowing what has to be sacrificed? Knowing that there is no turning back? Even in this frozen state I can feel the hard truth stabbing at me like a thousand knives, telling me that what I feel is right, that this is not for her. She should hold on to what makes her who she is. The clumsy, hard headed creature we have all begun to accept as ours, minus the one feature that she longs for - immortality.
And if I am wrong? If she is willing to give up what she has for us, for what we have to live every day as, how can I say no? It is not my place, for I know the love that she is fighting for, I have that love eternally and perhaps that is what she wishes for. If the roles were reversed I know what I would want to hear but sometimes the choices we make for ourselves are not always the right ones. This is a valuable lesson that we must all realise eventually.
One more look at her face, the flushed cheeks, the bright eyes, the determined smile, all masked behind a stony expression worthy of any vampire, convinces me. She is wrong, I am right…
“No. Let me explain. I don’t mean that I have any aversion to you as a sister. It’s just that…this is not the life I would have chosen for myself. I wish there had been someone there to vote no for me.”
Forgive me Bella.
This is the first time I've ever tried writing fan fiction, hope you enjoy it! Hayley P
Edited by Hails, 04 February 2009 - 03:04 PM.